Stay With Me
by diddlybops
Summary: Tori's happy. Incredibly. She's happy for Jade and she's happy for Beck. Happy. Prompt #9 by Jawrulez. G!P.
1. Bloom

**A/N: So this story is by Jawrulez! She gave me the go to try and make a story out of prompt nine, so hopefully I did it somewhat justice. Again, thank you and enjoy! **

**Also, they may be a little OOC, so I'm trying to work on that, but this is just my take.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, the plot or Dakota Skye.**

* * *

"Are you—"

"Shut up," Jade interrupts the Latina mid-sentence, glaring at the wall opposite to the couch they're seated on.

They're nearing the end of their sophomore year in university. Well, the whole gang is, aside from Tori who sought off to pack her car and drive cross country to play gigs in bars, coffee shops and small music venues.

Ever since the pristine Victoria Vega finally received her driver's license, she's been such a road junky, always the one to offer to drive the gang wherever they planned to go.

Since they've graduated, everyone went to their respective universities while Tori said her goodbyes and drove and drove and drove.

Two years later she's finally found her way back home, though it's starting to feel less and less like one the longer she's been away.

"Jade..." She starts, seeing kaleidoscopic eyes snap over to glare at her, quickly keeping quiet.

"I said shut up, Vega," The pale thespian growls out gravely, wringing her hands together as she tries to keep her anger at bay. It's not Vega's fault she and Beck had another disagreement. It's moments like this she's glad she didn't share an apartment with her boyfriend, but her best friend Cat.

Tori doesn't understand Jade and Beck's relationship, but maybe she doesn't want to. It might hurt too much, but it's not nearly as painful as seeing Jade so distraught over a fight. "Wanna go for a drive?" She sings out as she gently nudges her shoulder against Jade's. "Come on. Like old times, hey? A platonic, fun joyride," The brunette clarifies with a soft smile, holding her hands up in the open, silently saying she means well because she does.

Jade would've snorted at the last comment a couple of years ago, but she can't quite find it in her. Everyone was aware of Tori's little crush on Jade back in high school, but they never spoke of it because it was never really confirmed. It's not like Tori flaunted it or blatantly tried to break Jade and Beck apart to have her all to herself, it was just the little signs and interactions; the stolen glances during her performances as she sang, the lingering congratulatory hugs and the constant need of just wanting to be near her.

It's like Robbie's crush on Cat. Everyone knew of it, but ignored (and pitied) it. Of course, she was never too desperate or obnoxious about it—well, she hopes she wasn't. She kept her distance, but was there in a flash if Jade ever needed her, though she was never overbearing. It pained her, obviously, but she always tried to find the light in every darkness.

Jade was oblivious, though. She never knew how Tori really felt for her until the group had a graduation party at the beginning of their last summer together before everyone dispersed into the real world.

* * *

_ "Hey, Jade?" Tori calls out hesitantly, like the second she said something, she regretted it, but pushed through anyway because she's already been heard by the newly graduate before her._

_ It's just the two of them tonight in the backyard of Jade's house, the lights strung above them as they pick up empty cups and plates, both a little exhausted since it's a bit late._

_ "What?" Jade snaps in her plain tone, stuffing cups in the trash bag before tossing it aside, finally looking up to see Tori focusing on the freshly mowed grass below her black heels._

_ "U-Uh, ha, n-never mind," The girl chokes out nervously, instantly taking it back as she laughs in that dorky way she usually does._

_ Jade drops her head back and lets out a guttural groan in the night, "God, I hate that shit," She moans like it's actually causing her pain to hear it. "I really hate it when people do that! They want you to know they want to say something, but they're too afraid to say it, so they try and bait you to ask them!" She rants quickly, nearly passionately like she does when she critiques a well-praised novel where the author completely butchered the development of the story._

_ "I'm sorry—"_

_ "Do you want to say something, Vega?" Jade enunciates each syllable slowly, trying to get the older girl to comprehend her as she tilts her head to the side to look at the culprit expectantly, her hands on her lower back, a stance saying she's waiting, but with very, very little patience._

_ "Yes."_

_ "What is it, then?" The short-tempered one asks, throwing a confused glance at the suddenly shy figure who takes her precious time to say something. "Well?!"_

_ "I-I can't tell you..." Tori says softly, knowing it'll just make Jade even more irritable, but it isn't anything new between those two._

_ "And why the hell not?"_

_ "Because I can't!" Tori whines a little as she shouts back, finally locking eyes with the girl she'd fallen so hard for. Her slim frame wracks with a deep sigh, conflicted._

_ "Ugh, whatever, Vega, I'm going to bed," Jade scowls as she turns around to march to the back door._

_ Tori, in a state of desperation of not wanting her and Jade to leave at such a note, stammers, "I-want-to-tell-you-I-love-you!" She rushes out quickly with her eyes squeezed shut, nearly stumbling the words out with her tangled tongue. It's a surprise she actually sounded coherent. In any other situation, she's rather horrible at speaking. And walking. Well, anything, really._

_ Her eyelids peel open slowly, preparing herself to meet the throbbing vein popping above Jade's forehead and the backlash of a lifetime, but it's not there. Jade's stopped mid-stride, taking small steps to face the disheveled brunette, her expression blank, though showing remnants of shock. "You..."_

_ "But I can't tell you that, can I?" Tori cuts her off, deciding she wouldn't be able to take what Jade will have to say after this, so she'd rather lay it out all out on the table now and hide under a rock for the rest of her life. "I want to tell you to forget about him. He's a great guy, sure, the best, and you two are so good together, but I want you to tell him to bugger the fuck off and be with me. I-I want to tell you that the very first moment I laid eyes on you, I couldn't get your stupid face out of my brain!" Tori's chest rises and falls deeply as she runs her shaky fingers through her hair, giving it a bit of a tug in frustration, like it's been a long, inner turmoil battle. Trust, she's tried many ways to get the pale, vixen out of her head, but to no avail. She's already wishing she kept her mouth shut, now. "But I can't tell you that the only thing I want in the entire world is to take you away with me..._

_ "No him, no here, no this..." The Latina breathes out nearly inaudibly as her arms gesture at the two of them. "Just us. If only for a day, you know? But I can't tell you that. I mean... You can't make me," She chuckles airily to herself, though the laughter hardly passed her constricted throat when it tightened. She wills herself not to cry. She's done pretty well so far. Why now? "I mean, what kind of person would I be if I went and told you something pathetic like that, huh?" Tori's brown, glassy eyes finally flick up from the ground to meet a pair of stunned, grey irises as she wraps her lanky arms around her thin frame, pinching at the black fabric of her dress in anticipation. _

_ It's not like she expected a positive reaction from Jade when she ever decided to let her feelings known. In fact, it's better than what she expected, which was a slap to the face, a rough yank to the hair and a string of colorful words only Jade had the balls to say. Still, she couldn't suppress the throbbing pang beneath her concave chest at the lack of reaction._

_ "I'd, um," She clears her throat, trying to remain impassive and not have her cracked voice deceive her. "Appreciate it if... If you didn't tell Beck what I... _Didn't _say," It's more of a question than anything. There was no point to her speech. Not really. She's not asking Jade to choose between her and Beck because she eliminated herself as a choice altogether since she knows she would never be an option._

_ It was just something she had to say before she set off to play various shows in different cities—that there wouldn't be any 'what if's. It wasn't fair for Jade to not know about her feelings for her when they hung out together on the occasion._

_ "Of course not," Jade finally speaks after being shell shocked, her perfectly sculpted eyebrows furrowing to the bridge of her little nose. "Because you didn't... Say it."_

_ "No... No, I didn't," Tori agrees with a shake of her head as she grabs her keys, making sure she isn't need anymore since she's cleaned up the yard. "Goodnight, Jade," Her lips curl into a soft, small smile before she walks away to her car._

* * *

The dynamic between Tori and Jade never really changed after that. Tori never spoke of what happened after the party or her evident feelings for Jade. Jade noticed what everyone else saw: the quick glances, the soft touches, the faint shuffles...

Tori never knew when she was being too obvious, though. It was always an accident if her fingertips brushed against Jade's hips or if her eyes strayed over her lips or chest. Whenever Jade would catch her, however, she'd quickly look or pull away. She didn't think it was fair for Jade if she kept throwing her those pouty, unrequited-love eyes. She'll let Jade be, and she did.

"Where?" Jade arches a pierced eyebrow, breaking through their reverie as she tries not to sound so enthused.

"Anywhere... Nowhere... Far away," Tori shrugs, standing up as she reaches her arm out to Jade, wiggling her fingers. "Don't worry, I'll get you home before your afternoon class."

Blue-green eyes roll as she takes a sun-kissed hand, letting herself get pulled onto her feet with ease. "Well, not everyone can drive cross country and do whatever the hell they want, rockstar."

"You don't know the half of it, Jade'ems," Tori chuckles as she squeezes of the soft hand in hers, trying to suppress the fluttery feeling inside her chest, telling her this is right; this is where she's meant to be.

_Platonic, Tori,_ she thinks to herself.

If she's being honest, though, she'd rather be in Jade's shoes—or rather, Beck's. There would be no driving on endless roads if she had a reason to come home every night, or someone to come home to, waiting for her.

* * *

"There a girl back East?" Jade asks as Tori drives, taking any road meeting their path. It's close to midnight and she knows she should be in her room studying for class tomorrow, but fuck it. Vega is hardly ever around anymore. It's always good for the soul when she's with her: the spiritual talks, the spontaneous trips, the feeling of not having to keep her defenses up. She's changed greatly since she left Los Angeles to fulfill her teenybopper dreams, but in a nice way.

"Girl?" Tori smiles a type of boyish grin as she holds onto the steering wheel, taking a random right, stealing a longing glance at Jade briefly before turning away. "Why is Jade West suddenly curious?"

"Ugh! Stop talking in third person, it's weird!" Jade laughs as she messes with the PearPod connected to the radio, filing through Tori's music library. "And don't answer my question with a question. I hate that."

"You hate a lot of things."

"Mostly you. Especially when you change the subject. Now answer."

Tori rolls her eyes halfheartedly as her free hand taps against her thigh rhythmically to the song. "No one serious. I just... I don't know. There's no one who makes me—"

"Horny?"

"What?! Ja—"

"Hungry?"

"Jade!"

"Happy?"

"No!" Tori laughs a bit, blindly swatting at Jade as her onyx hair flows with the wind rushing through the opened windows. "No... Someone who makes me... I don't know... Vibrate, I guess."

"Ah..." Jade nods in understanding, trying to be serious. "So, horny, then," She grins wickedly before the car jerks a little when Tori swerves off the road slightly, turning beet red and mumbling protests. "Eyes on the road, Vega!" Jade pushes Tori's face gently when she tries to look at her again, making her focus on the road. "I know you had the hots for me, but I don't have any intentions to die tonight."

"What! I-I, y-you were the one—"

"So vibrating, huh?"

"Jade! You are unbelievable, I swear!" Tori huffs exasperatedly as she grips onto the steering wheel, feeling her chest hum and buzz within as she smiles to herself, knowing this is why she always seem to come back. Though it's hard to see Jade sometimes, it's really good to be with her. Her slim shoulders rise slowly before they drop, swiping her wavy, brown hair aside when it gets in her line of view. "You know, when you're with someone, you want to be filled with this... This energy. And you just want to..."

"Vibrate?"

"Yeah..." Tori smiles as she takes her eyes off of the road, her sights drinking up everything that is Jade West while her fingertips, lips and body erupting in a fit of good vibrations. "It's... It's stupid, right?"

"Not at all, Vega," Jade says in all seriousness, meeting those brown hues with a soft smile before she reaches over to palm her face, turning her head to face the front. "Eyes on the road. I don't want to die just yet."

* * *

Tori collapses on the blanket in a heap, panting softly after chasing an inebriated Jade around the meadow, the two of them yelling and giggling in their drunken stupor. For once, Tori can actually say she may be happy. After a few hours of driving, they finally decided to stop. They found a field of sunflowers and trees stretched for miles, laid a blanket down and watched the world sleep. "I'm done running. Forever. That's enough exercising for the rest of my life."

"Vega, it wasn't more than ten minutes!" Jade giggles, clutching onto a half empty bottle of vodka as they lay on their sides, surrounded by a bed of flowers. "Maybe you should stop smoking."

Tori shrugs, her hazy, dilated eyes glancing into the most serene blues, feeling as if she could drown in them. "I should stop doing a lot of things in my life." She replies softly, her eyes betraying her as they involuntarily glance down at Jade's pink, full nether lips. "But what's the fun in that, hey?"

Jade chuckles, something quite uncharacteristic of her unless she's intoxicated, watching the girl before her cradle the bottle of tequila in her arms as her head rests atop of it like a pillow. "You're a dork."

"Yeah, I suppose, but I still get all the ladies," Tori wiggles her eyebrows suggestively, though it's not completely false. She's just never stuck around long enough to be with anyone long term. After a while they fall silent, the wind, crickets and rustling of leaves only audible as Tori's eyes trace over Jade's features. Her nimble fingers twitch against the bottle, wanting so badly to run the pad of her finger along the slope of Jade's nose and down to the curve of her lips. She's tried so hard to forget Jade. She played gigs for alcohol as pay and downed every free drink, but the girl was always on her mind. No matter what she did, what she took, she never seemed to dissolve. "I still have the dream sometimes, Jade," Jade looks up at her in surprise, confusion and probably with a hint of pity. "I do. I come home from the store and find you on my doorstep with a suitcase. And that's your entire wardrobe. Just a carry-on and a duffel bag and you have this... Scowl on your face. You're angry at me for living in New York and you've come in the Winter, no less, but you don't regret coming at all. I see you, but we don't say anything, yet you have this..." Tori lets out a sigh as she rolls onto her back, her nails scraping at the label on the bottle. "This look in your eyes that just _kills _me. It just..."

Jade lays on her side and scoots up a bit to try and look at Tori, but she refuses to lock gazes. She knows this dream. She's told her before, but just like then, there's no malicious intention telling this dream. It's just Tori and Jade, being friends and just filling in the blanks missed out on when Tori was away. A pale hand cups Tori's jaw, not forcing her to look her way, but just there for comfort as she tucks her knees on top of Tori's thigh, who doesn't hesitate to hold the crook of her leg.

"Then I unlock the door and let you in," Tori husks out, her fingertips slipping through the cuts in Jade's fishnet tights, tracing letters and shapes into her soft skin absently. "And that's it. That's the dream. You choose me... But when I wake up, wherever the hell I am, I wake up happy... Vibrating for a few seconds with my head in the sand... Content, you know? Then it goes away and you go away... I really don't want to get out of bed then because it's cold out there, but I do. I get up. Life goes on.

"Some days you never even cross my fucking mind," Tori says in distraught as she looks up at the dark sky, trying to bask in the warmth of Jade beside her and the reality of what could be if she just doesn't wake up.

Jade frowns to herself as she holds the side of Tori's face, willing the girl to just look at her. She doesn't understand why Tori still hangs herself up over her. Her options are endless, but she still wants her.

Cerulean, grey eyes lock onto caramel, watered eyes as a pale thumb strokes at a defined jaw. "Tell me you love me," Jade rasps softly, barely audible over the wind picking up. It's not that she needs to hear it because she already knows. Maybe—just maybe—she could have the heart to say it back.

A sun-kissed hand grips onto the back of Jade's thigh, her fingertip tracing her name over the porcelain skin peeking out of the ripped pantyhose. "I love—"

A pair of soft, full lips cut her off mid-sentence as her hand grips the nape of her slender neck, tugging on her tresses. She doesn't know what compels her to kiss Tori, but she's tired of thinking and talking. Maybe she felt bad for the girl for pawning over her for all these years. Maybe she wants to explore her options or maybe she wants to get back at Beck. Or maybe this is what she wanted all this time. Maybe.

"W-Wait, Jade, what're you doing?" The brunette asks, pulling away ever so slightly, the alcohol ghosting her mouth as she grips onto Jade's wrists rested on her chest. A part of her wants to shut the hell up and enjoy whatever the hell this is, but she just needs to know.

Jade shakes her head as she presses her lips against the corner of Tori's mouth, kissing her way to the other end, her hand reaching down between her legs. Her fingertips glide across the fabric of her skin-tight jeans, feeling the outline of her length. Ever since Tori told the gang about her little friend in high school, she's been curious. "Don't think," She slurs, unhitching the button of her bottoms before pinching the zipper to tug it down. She slips her pale hand under the 'v' opening of Tori's jeans before cupping the bulge swelling quickly, both girls gasping softly at the contact.

The pale figure pulls away and gets on her feet, her boots long knocked off since they got there. A whimper slips out from the Latina at the loss of contact before she reluctantly opens her eyelids and sits up, thinking it's all over, but what she sees instead are legs. Long, slim legs stood in front of her. Her eyes scale up from the tip of her very toes, to her curvy, mouthwatering hips, to her full, inviting chest, her deep cleavage showing under her sheer mesh, splicing long sleeved black blouse.

Jade takes a hold of Tori's tentative hands and place them up under her skirt at the waistband of her tights and underwear, urging the girl to take them off.

"Jade—" Tori starts, trying to be rational and try to think past their cloudy, drunken minds, but only gets cut off.

"Don't, Vega," She replies with a shake of her head, squeezing her hands as bronze, slim fingers run over the course of black tights painted over her pale legs, dipping in the slits of the diamonds at the bottom of her bum, sparking a fire to ignite from within. "Please, Tor, I need—just _please_."

Two breaths. It takes two breaths for everything to shift between the two girls—for brown eyes to soften at the pleading tone and mint, green irises to look down at her so... And then there's Tori's trembling hands curling underneath the elastic band of Jade's tight, bottoms, tugging them as she rolls the fabric down those milky thighs she's been fantasizing about.

She gives her another questioning look before she leans in to press her lips against soft, creamy skin at the junction where hips meet legs, smelling a hint of Jade's intoxicating scent as her mouth waters with so much want. Her lips litter kisses all over porcelain, smooth legs as she tugs down the article of clothing, helping her step out of her underwear. "Breathtaking."

Jade steps forward, sinking her knees down on the blanket on either sides of Tori's thighs, her skirt riding high on her flaring, curvy hips as they swivel down to press her spread core over Tori's protruding member under those small briefs, her weight rested on the girl. A small noise makes its way past Tori's lips when she feels Jade's warm, soaked center sit on her hardened length, knowing there will be wet streaks over the fabric of her grey underwear as Jade grips onto her shoulders, grinding back and forth into her so sensually.

Tori's fingers brush against Jade's thin shoulders, sliding off the plaid shirt she had lent her when the weather dropped. The fabric pools around them as their lips break apart when Jade drags off the tight tank top off of Tori, the cool air meeting their rapidly heated skin.

"A-Ah! J-Ja... Christ," Tori moans as the girl lifts herself up to cup her rock hard cock, giving it a tight squeeze, making her hips thrust upward into Jade. Tori couldn't be sure, but Jade may have smothered a chuckle into her collarbone before planting a kiss there.

"Dork."

"Can you blame me? Look at you..."

Then Jade gives her that smile. The one that sends her knees buckling to the ground where her nose wrinkles with her eyes scrunched closed as she tilts her head, suddenly shy at the compliment. She shakes her head and draws a line of kisses over Tori's jaw, nipping and biting at skin as she reaches down to slip her curious hand through the slit of Tori's grey briefs, taking a hold of her length before pulling her out through the opening.

A warm cloud of air exhales against the clothed peak of Jade's nipple when she feels her length fall into a soft palm, the shirt damp and sticking against her skin from Tori's ravenous tongue lapping at the erect bud.

"Jade..." She manages to squeak out as the pad of her thumb rounds the very tip of her cock, the edge of her painted fingernail brushing across Tori's sensitive slit in a way that's both pleasure and pain. The onyx-haired wonder pulls back from assaulting her neck with kisses, left with bruises to look at Tori's depth, gasping inwardly at the size.

"Jesus..."

"Wh-What?" Tori asks quickly, opening her eyes to see Jade staring slack-jawed at her dick. "What? You knew, didn't you? It's not like... D-Disgusting, right? I mean, all penises are gross, but—"

"Hey, Vega. Shut up," Jade glares lightly, grabbing her chin to make her face her. "Nothing's wrong. It's not disgusting. You're just... A little bigger than I anticipated." She says, glancing back down at her length with a faint blush coating her cheeks. If she can guess, she would say roughly eight to nine.

Tori's eyebrows furrow to the bridge of her nose, nearly close to placing her fists on her hips in that Tori's-quite-offended! way had Jade not been perched on her lap, holding her dick in the grip of her warm palm. "And what were you expecting, exactly?"

Her lips flex into a soft, teasing smirk before she shuts her up with a rough, filthy kiss which mostly consisted of tongue as they rock into each other as the passion deepens. Tori places her hand on Jade's inner thigh, slowly making her way underneath the skirt before she palms her heat, feeling the girl drenched between her legs.

Tori was overwhelmed, completely. She could only watch as the pale vixen moved down to wrap her fingers along the base of her shaft tightly, her breathing stuttered and shaky as Jade squeezed the first upstroke so hard, she nearly pinched the foreskin at the tip. The Latina lets out a guttural whimper as a pearl of hot, white pre-cum beads out of her slit and trickles down her length, sliding down to Jade's slender hand as the girl lets out a moan, feeling the shiny, wet liquid entwine between her long fingers.

"C'mon, Vega. I want this—no, I fucking need this. Stop teasing," Jade growls gravely, feeling Tori's slim, curling digits work into her hot core before the taller girl rolls them over, trapping the Goth between her and the ground.

She tugs the skirt off, tossing it carelessly behind her as Jade works at Tori's bottoms, yanking off her briefs and jeans while they sag at her ankles. The two draw in a sharp intake of air when they feel their sexes press against each other for the first time, rubbing in the most delicious way, though there's only one barrier between them.

"Off, off..." Jade sighs impatiently against Tori's neck, gesturing at her tight, long sleeved blouse that's obstructing their bodies from touching properly.

Tori's fingers toy with the hem of the last layer of clothing between them, trying to tug it over her head, but only to be stilled when a cold pair of metal scrapes against her fit, rippling stomach, pulling back to look at the object through her heavy lids. "Jade! What're you doing?!" She exclaims, gripping onto Jade's wrists as she holds a pair of scissors she found buried between their pile of clothes.

"Cutting the fucking thing off!" She says, glaring at her tight shirt.

Tori would have laughed, maybe she did, but Jade was holding the sharp object dangerously close to her stomach. One slip and she'd nip skin, or worse, her dick, which was definitely _not_ an option. She takes the scissors and carefully cuts the middle of the body hugging fabric, exposing Jade's bare front once she's done.

"Wow..."

The girl below smirks softly, sighing in content when the icy, sharp tip of silver glides down her heated front as the taller girl leans down, licking, biting and sucking at her pebbled skin, taking a rosy, puffy bud between her lips and teeth, her nipples hard whilst Jade arches her back into Tori's savory mouth. "Christ, Tor, _yes_," She moans as her nails scrape down Tori's muscled back, the girl's lips tasting everywhere while her hands take their time memorizing the slopes, curves and dips of her bare body. The scissors drop to the ground with the shredded top as their body press flushed against one another properly.

"Oh, J-_ade_," Tori chokes out, the tip of her nose brushing against Jade's soft cheek as the soft, blunt head of her cock slides up her wet slit before it presses against her soaked entrance where her fingers had been previously, her juices running down her inner thigh.

This was it. This was well past the point of no return.

Brown eyes flicker into a pair of dilated, green eyes, silently asking for permission and giving the girl an out.

Jade answers with a hook of her legs at the bend of Tori's elbows, spreading them open as the tip of Tori's dick slips between her wet, hot folds, delving in tight heat as both girls let out a high-pitched gasp.

Any thoughts of what all of this meant disappeared completely as she moves her hips into Jade, her depth sliding deeper, thinking how absolutely fucking _breathtaking _it feels. Tori shifts her hands from the ground to the indent of Jade's hips where they curved into her waist because she needed to touch more of her and wanted to remember everything about this moment. She adjusts Jade to a better position, perching her legs on her shoulders as she thrusts a little harder, though only entering with half her length because her velvety walls were just _so _tight, she couldn't move any further.

Jade grips onto Tori's wrists tightly, urging the girl to just _fucking move_ because all she needs is a little since she can feel herself so close. "Please," Her voice squeaks in a desperate tone and it's only then that Tori finally _moves_, giving in when she leaves her state of shock of being inside Jade. Their lips move against one another, tingling as the rest of their bodies hum and bumble about, their nerve endings catching ablaze as they move in sync, rocking and grazing and buzzing.

She looks down, trailing her eyes over Jade's front as she watches her dick move in and out, _in _and _out_ of her hot core, hearing the tight noises in the back of the pale girl's throat entwined with Tori's harsh breaths with each thrust.

The pace is steady, though Tori's hips snap into Jade in hard, sharp strokes, feeling the girl take a little more of her depth. It's the filthy, wet slapping sounds of their sexes meeting echoing in her ears and Jade's occasional, '_yeah, like that, Tor_' and '_harder, fuck me harder_' that spurs her on before Jade rolls them over.

Tori can only watch as Jade tops her and mounts her hips since the girl's shoved her back down to the ground when she tries to sit up.

It's easily the most beautiful thing she's ever seen: Jade's hands on her chest as she bites her bottom, bruised lip, looking down at their joined hips before she starts to lower herself down when her muscles loosen.

A throaty, deep moan slips through Tori's parted lips as she feels her girth stretch Jade's nether lips before she sits herself down fully, her tight, slippery walls hugging her shaft to the very base. "S-So good, baby..."

Their nails leave red, ardent streaks over pale thighs and a tan chest as Jade's hips lift up ever so slightly, circling and grinding down against Tori's thick, hard and throbbing member around Jade's clenching walls. They move in fervor, their movements sporadic and in sync as they kiss hungrily, gripping onto one another when they feel like they're about to slip from reality.

"_Tori_," Jade whimpers, her breath hitching as she rides Tori's dick without abandon, sounding like she's near tears at how incredibly raw and open this all is.

Tori skims her lips along her slender throat and down to her full, chest, bouncing with their ministrations as they bring each other closer and closer to topple the edge. Her nails dig into Jade's firm, round ass, pulling her in deeper and harder as the soft tip of her cock prods against her g-spot, feeling the girl shudder and crumble when she bucks her hips up into her a little faster.

Their rhythm falters as their vision whitens, both letting out a guttural cry when they tense, releasing in jerky spasms. Tori clings onto Jade, like she can lose her any second as her cock twitches inside of Jade's throbbing walls, squeezing and clenching along her shaft before she feels herself release deep inside of her in long, hot strings of thick cum.

Jade quivers uncontrollably, feeling the waves and waves of pleasure hitting her as the girl swipes at her swell, sensitive clit, here own juices coating Tori's member. "God, Vega, _yes_. D-Don't fucking stop!"

Their lips find each other, colliding for a heated kiss, though it only consists of heavy panting as their lips skate the edges of each other's mouths again and again as they ride it out together slowly, twitching and shuddering and just enjoying the feel of their bodies moving against one another.

Jade collapses on top of Tori in a heap, both trying to catch their breaths before they lock gazes as they splutter into a fit of laughter, the feelings in their toes coming back.

"God, I love you," Tori rasps out, her voice shot from the noises she's made.

The pale figure smiles and leans in to litter kisses all over Tori's face as the latter grabs the blanket, splaying it over their naked frames.

"Oh, my gosh, _the _Jade West is actually sweating?"

"Don't mention it, Vega, I swear to god."

They abrupt to a fit of giggles again, their wandering hands road mapping the contours of the other's bodies, enjoying the feel of just _being_.

After a while, they fall quiet, only hearing the sound of the trees swaying and the feel of the air as the alcohol settles in their thoughts and stomach, the pair starting to drift off to a restful sleep.

Naked to the world and the world naked to them.

* * *

Tori watches as Jade stirs beside her. She woke up a half an hour prior to the raven-haired wonder. Their limbs were tangled together and god, the way their fronts were pressed against one another was probably the best feeling in the entire world, but Tori had to pry away from her because while something incredible happened last night, it would be entirely different this morning.

So she kept her distance, laid on her side and watched the pale beauty wrinkle her nose as she tossed and turned, finally willing herself to wake since she probably wouldn't be able to drift back off to sleep.

Jade slowly opens her lids, her eyes adjusting to the morning ray beating down on them in the middle of the meadow before she tilts her head to glance at the figure beside her.

There's that smile. It's small, but god, it's _there_. It's a relief on Tori's part and the smile on her lips is involuntary.

For a second, she measures the hope of this moment—this feeling.

Because everything else will be measured against it.

She goes to open her mouth to say something. Anything. But by then, Jade's expression changes.

Realization.

"Jade..."

She shakes her in reply, clutching the quilt to her bare chest as she sits up, trying to catch her breath.

She cheated. No less, with Tori _freaking _Vega.

Tori watches her with a heavy heart, the throbbing, swelling of her heartbeat pounding in her ears as she loses feeling in her entire body.

It's fleeting.

"Jade—"

"Don't, Vega. Fucking _don't_," The girl in question pierces, quickly getting on her feet to scramble for her clothes, trying her best to keep covered, like Tori haven't seen her completely open the night before. "Don't say anything. I don't want to hear it. Take me home. Now!"

The slim brunette flinches at her tone and quietly pulls herself together, repeating comforting words to herself like a mantra as her lanky limbs pull the clothes over her slumped form; her underwear, bra, jeans, tank top, shoes. She gathers the blankets and empty bottles, stuffing it in her backpack before she steals a glance at the disheveled girl before her.

She's trembling to the bone, clad in her tights, skirt and bra. She looks at the shredded material of her shirt and curses, tossing it angrily, her only choice to pull on the button-up Tori lent her that night. Her shaking fingers work at the buttons, misaligning the slits or completely missing it all together.

Tori slings the bag over her shoulder and carefully walks over, grasping the opening of the flannel and helps the girl piece it together, only to get slapped in the hands. "Don't. Don't fucking touch me!" Jade yells, backing away from Tori like she's repulsed. And maybe she is. Maybe she has a reason.

The latter quickly backs away, flexing her stinging, red hands as they silently make their way over to Tori's car, Jade a little further ahead of her. They settle in the car and drive as the radio murmurs, trying to mask the tension in the car, but it doesn't work.

It's not until a couple of hours later does Tori pull into the apartment complex to Jade and Cat's place. The ride was spent in silence, Jade curled in the passenger seat and Tori hunched in the driver's side, trying to figure out what to say.

"Jade—"

The girl quickly gets out of the car and slams the door as hard as she can, stomping up to the stairs before Tori slips out of her car, following her.

"No! You don't get to do that, Jade. _You _came onto _me_! You don't get to act like I forced you to do anything!" Tori says, losing her composure. It's not fair. She's so sick and tired of people acting like they can treat her like she's disposable.

"Shut up, shut up!" Jade says as she whirls around to face Tori, shoving her lightly. "Nothing happened. You understand? Whatever the hell is going on, it ends now. I don't know what you're playing at, but it ends now! It's so pathetic, Vega. I _don't love you_! I will never love you the way you want me to and whatever you're trying to do, it's not working! I am with Beck. I _love_ Beck and I may have ruined the best thing in my life by a stupid, drunken mistake!" Jade yells, her hands slapping at Tori's chest in anger before she shoves her against the car, though the brunette catches her wrists to stop her.

But honestly, nothing can hurt more than what she's saying.

The tears brim over her eyes as Tori lets Jade take her anger out on her, not being able to get any words out. How was the best night of her entire existence a mistake? It felt right, didn't it?

"Stop coming around. Why do you even come back? No one wants you here, Vega. Especially me. I don't want to see you again. Do you understand? Move the hell on. Stop coming back into my life thinking you can take me away because it won't happen. I don't fucking love you, you idiot!" She balls the cuffs of her long sleeved shirt into her fists as she slaps it against Tori's heavy chest as hard as she can with each syllable at the last sentence before giving a last shove. She turns and stomps away into the building, leaving a tongue-tied Tori.

That was never her intention. Ever. Maybe she was blindsided by her love for Jade, thinking she was being completely selfless, but maybe she was the selfish one. Maybe she's entirely at fault for what happened and for cornering Jade.

She doesn't know how she managed, but she got in her car and drove to the only place she could think of. She gets out of her car, hardly putting the vehicle in park before she runs up to the door, banging on it with her feeble attempts as the tears cloud her vision. She had to pull over a couple of times because there were moments she honestly could not stop her hands from shaking.

She sees a blur of arms gathering her close before she completely lets go, her knees giving out as the person hugs her tightly, holding her up. "I-I... Sh... She," Tori chokes out through a sob, her breath hitching and stuttering as she tries to breathe through her heavy chest, but it's too much. It's all too much. "Oh, g-_god_, wh...wh-what did I _do_?"

* * *

**A/N: So... Smut was weird, huh?**


	2. Featherstone

**A/N:**

**I hate this chapter. I really do, but I feel like I owe you guys something for the incredible feedback from the first chapter. Thank you!  
**

**Also, the beginning of the chapter is a flashback to junior year in high school. The line break will follow chapter 1. Hope this clears confusion. **

**Special thanks to I am random18 for reading a bit of this and Jawrulez for giving me permission to butcher this prompt.**

**Hopefully, I won't call this quits after a few chapters because there's already a story about the same prompt and well, how awkward is that?**

**Xx**

* * *

Chapter Two

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

_Junior Year **(Flashback to High School)**  
_

Tori hurries to class, knowing she's already late for Advanced Scriptwriting since the bell rang a long while ago, but in her defense, it's completely Trina's fault. Her mirror-framed locker "mysteriously" shattered the day before and unfortunately for the youngest sibling, she was roped in to help set up a new one—which was bigger and heavier and way too ostentatious—and well, very Trina-esque. Tori was even responsible for picking up the tiny, broken pieces littering the entire west wing linoleum floors because Trina had exfoliated her hands prior and didn't want to risk scarring her perfectly smooth palms.

Panting and doubled over, Tori arrives to the classroom and relieved when she doesn't spot Kathryn at the front taking role, no doubt late for her own lecture. But of course, the relief is short lived once she scans across the filled classroom for a vacant seat, only seeing one open next to none other than Jade West. Jade West, who's throwing her an all knowing smirk over her shoulder.

And just like that, Tori knows she's done for. After a few weeks of distancing herself from her friends, Jade's finally busted her.

Well, she hasn't been ignoring the gang, per se, but… Okay, fine, maybe she _has_ been avoiding them just a little—and escaping through any exit whenever they try to get her to come out with them. Whatever. Whether she's intentionally ignoring the group or has been _incredibly_ busy lately is completely debatable.

That is also not her fault.

Nope.

No.

Not at all.

It's Jade's.

Yep. _The_ Jade who's grinning at her wickedly for finally succeeding at cornering the half-Latina after a couple of weeks of her failed schemes. They were creative and generally scary, but that's Jade. She doesn't rest until she gets what she wants and sometimes, she likes to overachieve.

She's an all or nothing kind of girl and Tori just can't help herself from admiring that.

Like two weeks ago, a man in a bear suit and a machete was involved. Then two days after that was an incident with monarch butterflies. Another mishap ended with the school being shut down for a couple of days. She was even desperate enough to have both Sinjin and Berf in one of her ploys.

All else may have failed, but everyone knows Tori Vega wouldn't be so frantic to skip class just to avoid something or someone.

A wince shudders through her frame at the thought of the last horrid two weeks. It's exhausting just thinking about it. Even more so in thinking she can avoid Jade without a hitch.

She begrudgingly shuffles in and takes her seat with a heavy sigh beside the raven-haired wonder who's been clouding her rather… Imaginative and filthy mind, trying to occupy the furthest space away from Jade. She keeps her head down, trying to suppress the way her skin prickles with goose bumps all over and the static tingle trickling down the curves of her spine at the mere thought of Jade being so close.

Christ. How pathetic? She can't even keep her body from involuntarily reacting when they're only three feet away.

So, when Jade leans over with her elbow pressed to the desk and her chin propped in the palm of her hand, she thinks, _yes, she's definitely at fault_ for making her lose control when she does that Jade-like thing and ends up wrapped around pale fingers, not noticing until she's in way too deep to uncoil. And by that point, when she realizes the hold she has on her, she really doesn't want to get away.

No. She'd rather bask herself in all of what's Jade.

So, it _is_ Jade's fault for captivating and poisoning her mind with want and need for something as simple as a touch or attention from her. What's worst is she did it so gracefully and unknowingly.

Nothing was calculated. She fell for Jade without meaning to and their first encounter could clearly testify that it wasn't supposed to happen in the slightest.

Tori doesn't know much about love, but she's beginning to feel like Jade's the start of one.

"Vega." She's trying. She's trying _really_ hard to keep the shiver at bay from the sound of her enticing, silky voice, dripping with a faint husk at how low she's speaking. Then Jade does another stupid thing and shifts a little closer towards her, letting her taste a hint of her perfume. Just like that, it's over for her and she knows it. Something simple, floral and spicy and something uniquely Jade that overwhelms her. Home. Safety. It's strange how a single sensory detail can trigger a memory or a feeling. It's even stranger that she can say she's never had this memory before in her lifetime. It's unfamiliarly familiar. It brought her to a fall morning. The feel of the crisp, earthy air and a sense of belonging and such righteousness. If her tiny, buttoned nose can hold something so powerful, she can only imagine what kind of home they could build if she were only brave enough to skim the pads of her fingertips against Jade's porcelain planes. For a second, Tori wishes she went to exfoliate her hands with Trina. Maybe then, if she were ever lucky enough to collide with Jade, her nerve endings could feel her just that much closer. "So, how are your legs holding up?"

"My… What?" She asks, dumbfounded and wondering how much of the conversation she's missed from daydreaming. She's way over her head. She should seriously stop getting lost in her head before she does something pathetic and make poetry out of Jade's knees or something. She could do so easily. And it may already be an entry in her journal.

"You know. Your legs. I suppose I should stop calling you Chicken Legs and swap it for horse ones. After all, you are a runner," Jade says, her pale, pink lips shaping into a smirk as she flickers her pale blue eyes to lock onto Tori's who's struggling to hold her own.

"Hilarious," She replies dryly.

"Jesus, Tor, what's that monstrous thing growing on your forehead?" Jade asks with revulsion, pointing at the forming knot a little near her temple.

Tori looks back with confusion before touching the nearly forgotten spot with a hiss. "Trina," She groans, knowing she shouldn't have let her sister guide her into the school while carrying a heavy piece of metal when there was her reflection to look at.

"You don't even have to elaborate," The thespian shakes her head before she grabs onto Tori's chin to yank her head down at eyelevel. "Aw, poor baby has a wittle boo-boo," Jade croons with a playful pout, her thumb carefully circling against the sensitive bump.

Tori's eyebrows quirk in surprise, watching the girl concentrate on bettering the little bruise with genuine concern. She almost lets herself smile and enjoy the fluttering feeling in the pit of her stomach before Jade winds back and flicks her finger at her forehead viciously, making Tori yelp and cup face. "_Ow_, Jade! You just _thwacked_ my head!"

"And well deserved, too! Where the hell have you been, Vega?!" Jade crosses her arms, matching Tori's glare with a malicious scowl.

For a moment, Tori lets herself believe that maybe Jade's been upset with her absence a little more than she's let on. But when it passes, she diminishes the wishful thinking. Sure they've grown a lot closer the beginning of junior year, but now it's spring and she's finally recognized her feelings. She understood the faint, throbbing pull of wanting to know and the slow ache in her chest whenever she saw Jade.

She was trying to ignore the lurch in her chest. Honestly—that's why she sought off to isolate herself from everyone. It was only a matter of time before she leaked her secret on Andre or Cat and have them mistakenly blurt it out to Beck. Or worse—Jade. She couldn't have that. She wouldn't allow herself to be even more selfish.

"I've been busy," She replies with furrowed brows. She knows she's been a bit uncreative with excuses, but she's baffled at Jade. "Besides, why do you even care where I am?" It's true. A year ago, Jade wouldn't have cared if she was lying in a ditch somewhere. Hell, _she_ would have been the one to dig up the hole and throw her in there.

"Of course it matters, Vega. Hello, we were almost friends!" Jade fumes, angry how relentless Vega was with wanting to be her friend and now that they were, she just suddenly dropped off the radar for some annoying, unknown reason.

"Wait, _almost_? We were totally—"

"Yeah, Vega, _almost_. And then you decided to flake!" The actress says, reaching over to flick her forehead again. "What's wrong with you? Are you mad?" They've attracted the rest of the class's attention, but Jade will just deal with them later. She's finally gotten Vega and she's not going to let her leave her sight.

"What? No, I'm not mad at you," Tori rubs her head, swatting at Jade's wandering hand absently since she's still a little shocked. If anything, she's mad at Beck. Sure, it's childish to be envious of him, but still. She can treat Jade a million times better, though it wouldn't matter because while her love belongs to Jade, Jade's isn't hers. "I've just been busy. You know; junior year and all."

That's not true, and Jade knows it as she nods her head to Tori with pursed lips and slightly flared nostrils, moving in closer. "Uh-huh… So you're saying I'm not worth your time?"

"What! Of course not!"

"Then what is it? You're all secretive and jumpy and annoying—more than usual! Are you on drugs?"

"Jade! No!"

Tori frowns a little when Jade inches even closer, giving her a once-over. Tori's close (and rather fucking lucky) enough to see the mint emerald specks highlighting her sapphire eyes. "Are you… Are you pregnant?" She asks in all seriousness, reading the confusion in Tori's face.

"P-Pregnant?!" The girl splutters, gaping at the figure before her. "Seriously? You know I can't do that!" She blushes profusely while Jade lets out a humorous chuckle.

"Alright, fine. Did you knock up some poor girl?"

"No!" Tori shouts, getting it out through her giggles, making Jade smile just a bit at their usual bicker-banter manner.

"Then what's your problem?"

"Now what fun will that be if I let you in on my deepest, darkest secrets, hm?" Tori hums smugly, doing that stupid eyebrow thing Jade says she hates.

"You're a _dork_," Jade emphasizes with her finger pushing Tori's big, geeky, round rimmed frames up her nose. "So, lunch later or what?" She asks, drumming her fingernails against the desk at a suddenly quiet Vega.

For Tori, the best thing to do is to say no. Whenever she sensed Jade drawing her in with her unknowing, enigmatic ways, she'd run the opposite direction as far as she can.

Of course, the right thing to do isn't always the easiest, especially because there's just something unique about Jade that makes Tori want to know what a word will be when it stops being a sound.

So, in a moment of either weakness or bravery on Tori's part, she caves in—and it's not like she wants to, but whenever she's with Jade, she doesn't have much self-control. But she follows it and decides to find out more about Jade—the Jade only Beck and maybe Cat knows. Because what's the harm? She'll only do herself damage. And with the knowledge of the inevitable outcome of being hurt, she accepts it. She accepts the heartbreak. All of it.

"Sure. Lunch would be awesome."

"Then I'll see you," Jade scrutinizes Tori with a nod of her head, making a mental note to hunt the girl down and drag her to the Asphalt Café if she didn't show.

Though it's such a basic promise on Jade's part, it means the absolute world to Tori. So when Jade turns in her seat to face the front, with a missing teacher, she blurts, "Actually, do you wanna get out of here?" It slipped. Honestly. It was purely meant as a little fantasy in her head of sweeping Jade off of her feet. But she can't take that back because she's already said it and her companion has already heard.

"What, now?" She asks, dumbfounded that the Tori Vega would actually skip when first hour hasn't even begun. Hell, _she_ hardly missed classes and she's supposed to uphold some badass reputation around here. Hollywood Arts isn't cheap and she genuinely enjoys her courses and teachers, but the offer is tempting.

Christ, she must be insane to actually prefer Tori's company over… Well, anything, really, but to be honest, it's been a long while since she's actually had a moment with her, let alone a decent conversation, whether it's an insult here and there or an argument. But she's finding herself wanting it, which explains her recent schemes.

Tori's teeth catches her lower lip, being able to meet her eyes. "I mean, yeah… Let's… Let's go somewhere. Like, anywhere," She babbles nervously.

"Really?"

"Don't sound so surprised," Tori smiles, her nose scrunching as she releases a soft chuckle. Truth be told, it's been tiring holding up defenses and just generally avoiding her friends. She's never one to keep to herself, but it was safer than accidentally blabbering about her crush on Jade. "Scared, West?" She jests playfully, shouldering her bag as she looks for Kathryn, still unseen. She holds out her hand, giving Jade an out if she really doesn't want to join.

With a tilted head and a questioning look thrown at the other girl, Jade surprises herself when she reaches halfway and takes Tori's hand in hers without any hesitation.

Neither are truly shocked at how incredibly nice it feels when their palms press together. Or how their fingers shift and tuck themselves in the spaces between the other without much thought. "Come on," Tori smiles, squeezing her hand lightly before they slip out of the classroom—not before Jade threatens her peers.

Now, it's no longer restlessness. It's recklessness as they take off, hand in hand. Then they're running hand in hand, hiding and sneaking away from Helen and Dickers patrolling the hallways for any latecomers loitering around the school. It's the absolute giddy rush of keeping up with one another, of zooming throughout the school, reducing everything that's not them into an inconsequential blur. There's laughing. Playful, exhilarating laughter from both girls.

They burst through the doubled doors, past the Asphalt Café and to the parking lot as they taste the real air, the sunshine and the trees and the less burdensome world. They get to Tori's car as they toss their bags into the backseats, still giggling and panting.

Tori's breaking the rules as they climb into her car.

Jade's breaking the rules as she buckles her seatbelt, smiling genuinely for the first time in what seems like ages.

They're breaking the rules when they're both fully aware of the repercussions of leaving together. They're breaking the rules when they realize they really couldn't care any at all.

Jade smirks a little as the engine roars to life, seeing the driver turn to face her. "Where do you want to go? Tell me truly, Jade, where you'd love to go."

At this point, Tori doesn't completely realize how much really hinges on Jade's answer. If she says, _Let's go to the movies_, she will disconnect. If she says, _Actually, I need to meet up with Beck_, she will disconnect. And she should. She really, really shouldn't be doing this at all, but she can't seem to put a stopper on whatever this is.

But as always, Jade surprises her, over and over again, saying, "I want to go to the ocean. Vega, take me to the ocean."

Just like that, she feels herself connecting as she puts her car in drive, setting off.

Jade stays with her. Her details. Small things, like the way her soft curls cascade down her shoulders, jet black entwined with green, blue, silver or purple; the way she mouths over her words when she reads her scripts, tasting them on her tongue; the determination and fearlessness in her voice when she speaks. Random things. Like the time Tori saw Jade actually enjoy dancing with Beck's grandfather because he said he's always wanted to dance with a pretty girl and the way Tori would peer through the gaps of her fingers to steal a glance at Jade during a horror film, who only grins the whole way through, relishing in her fright. She remembers the good memories and doesn't bother looking into any others.

All Tori wants to do is give her a good day. Just one good day before she slips back out of the picture to avoid the group again—before Beck steals her away right where she respectively belong. With him. Just one good day as friends.

"So, when the hell did you decide you wanted a Jeep? Especially one with absolutely no doors or a fucking roof!" Jade calls out with thrill laced in her voice over the wind, her hand gripping on the sports rack above her head, enthralled at being able to see absolutely everything. It's frightening, without any barriers between her and the road as they speed up, but exhilarating. Exciting.

It always is around Tori. Whether they're involved in one of her lame schemes or lounged on her crappy sofa eating pizza.

Tori only shrugs as she presses against the clutch, switching gears. "I like the openness. See! I'm not all that safe, you know. I can be dangerous. Oh, I _am_ dangerous," She raises her eyebrows, reaching over to the glove compartment by the passenger side to pull out a folded map. She tries to say stoic when her knuckles accidentally brush against Jade's knees.

"Oh, really? Still hovering over public toilets?"

"I don't need to hover! The beauty of peeing while standing," Tori scrunches her face. "But, I don't touch anything without wrapping my hands up in toilet paper." She shivers lightly. "What, you don't hover on toilet seats?"

"I don't use public restrooms. Ever."

"Ever? Well, what if you really have to go?"

"I don't go."

"You really are complicated, aren't you?" Tori shakes her head lightly, handing over the map. "Pick somewhere to go."

"Shut up," Jade growls, snatching the map from Tori's hand as she unravels the wrinkled paper, furrowing her brows when she sees a bunch of colorful handwritten notes near the southern part of California, some reading "Take her here. She'd love it," or "Nope. Nope. Bad idea. She'll hate this," and "This. This is the place," including miscellaneous doodles. "Vega, what the hell are these writings?"

Tori looks from the road to Jade holding out the map in confusion, eyes widening when she realizes what it is before grabbing at it to stuff it in her bag, "U-Uh… Nothing. Nothing. Wrong map, here," She says, quickly reaching for the other one to hand it to Jade.

"So, that's what you have been doing? Avoiding us to scour all of California with some bimbo?"

"Jade, drop it," Tori says plainly, continuing to drive. "It's really nothing. I've been going at it alone ever since I got my license."

"Well, who is she, then?" Jade asks, trying to be as uninterested as she can, but Tori sees right through it.

She looks at her, for a really long time. Then smiles.

Jade's close to scowling—well, even more than she is now before Tori reaches over to flick the dial to turn up the volume to the radio, singing at the top of her lungs until Jade finally caves and joins. A pop song that's as substantial as a balloon, but lifts them in the same way when they sing.

Time relaxes around them. Jade stops thinking about how unusual it all is and lets herself be a part of it.

The wind takes over and blows their hair all around; making it seem like the car has disappeared, like they are the velocity and speed. They sing, they talk and enjoy their company. Tori asks about Jade. It takes her a while to get to her, but she waits. Every single answer starts with a disinterested, uncaring shrug, but if Tori gives her enough time and space to answer, she will and she always does truthfully. Her mother means well; her father less so. She and Beck are fine. School is school—she wants it to be over, but she's afraid of it being over because then she'll have to figure out what comes next.

They watch the trees, the sky and the road. The world is only them. Tori drives like this for miles as Jade tells her where to go. Off the highway. The empty back roads. It's not summer and it's not the weekend. It's the middle of a Thursday and nobody but them is going to the beach.

Tori's stepping on dangerous grounds, she knows this, but there are so many things inside of Jade that she wants to know. And at the same time, with every word they speak, she feels there may be something inside of her that she's already known all along. When Tori gets there, they will recognize each other. They will have that.

It takes nearly two hours to get to the beach. They've drove past several beaches on the way, but per Jade's request, she wanted one where they've never been. Plus, the ones they've been to were too "Jersey Shore" and too "many wrinkled people". Tori was more than okay with that and just drove until Jade told her to stop.

Tori gets off of the PCH, nearly missing the small turn to this tiny little place Jade found on the map, labeled as 'El Matador', which doesn't surprise her in the slightest she would choose such a place.

She parks the car and grabs the backpack she always leaves in her trunk as they get out, walking over to the cliff overlooking the ocean. It's breathtaking, truly; the taste of the salt water air and the breeze breathing them in.

"Look at this hidden gem," Jade says, a bit speechless at the sight, not noticing how Tori's eyes are locked on her, not the view.

"Yeah…" Tori says absently before she takes her head, turning to look down at the quiet strip of sand with rock formations along the shore before taking in the turquoise sea. It's a little pocket ocean in the grooves of the cliff. It's exotic, secluded and a little intimate if you ask Tori.

They have the beach to themselves, the ocean to themselves. Tori has Jade for herself, and Jade has her.

Before Tori can do anything, Jade takes off down the slippery slope down to their newfound oasis, running ahead, kicking sand and calling her name. Everything, in this moment, is lightness. She is so _joyous_ that Tori can't help but stop for a second to watch. Witness. Tell herself to remember in case everything goes back to normal come tomorrow morning. "C'mon! Get over here, Vega!"

She doesn't think twice to chase after Jade, dropping her book bag and shoes in the hot sand to run.

There is a part of childhood that is childish, and a part that is sacred. Suddenly, they're touching the sacred part—running to the shoreline, feeling the first cold burst of water on their ankles, reaching into the tide to catch at the shells before they ebb away from their fingers. They've returned to a world that's capable of glistening and they're wading deeper within it. They're chasing, laughing, exploring the big boulders stretched along the shore, climbing the archways and jumping into tide pools.

Their shirts and bottoms are wet, but it's the furthest of their worries as they collapse on the sand in an exhausted heap, struggling to contain their giggles.

Tori sits up a little and pulls off the damp fabric sticking to her torso from Jade's mischievous splashing and tosses it over near her bag, the heat make itself known.

The paler one steals a quick peek, just a small one. She watches the way the sun beats down on her bronze skin, making the sea water glisten over her cleavage and down to her defined body. She knew Tori was fit, but to actually have a little muscle around her small arms and stomach is a little surprising. She lets her eyes scan a little lower down the 'v' cut of her lower abdomen until they meet the start of her thick Calvin Klein waistband peeking out of her skin tight jeans.

She doesn't let herself delve into her curiosity for the slight bulge between Tori's legs. She may be in a relationship, but it doesn't mean she can't admire a nice figure when she sees one. "I should be in Bio."

"I should be in English," Tori agrees with a soft nod.

"But I'm not."

"No… We're not." Tori shakes her head, having a hard time listening to her inner thought to look away from Jade, but everything about her is too luminous.

"…Thank you," She says after a moment, actually sounding thankful.

"What for, Jade?"

"For this. For all of it." The escape. The water. The waves. Her. It feels like they've stepped outside of time. Even though there's no such thing. "I've always dreamt of running away—it's nice to actually do it. For a day, you know? It's good to be on the other side of the window. I don't do this enough."

Tori gives her a smile. That freaking smile that makes her feel easy. It's comforting and inviting. "Stick with me, kid." Their shoulders nudge gently. "Look, let's just… Enjoy ourselves. For today. I mean, how about this… How about we pretend this is all a dream, okay?"

"O…Kay?" Jade drawls out a little in confusion, trying to pick up what Tori's setting down.

"And nothing we say or do count in the waking world, and out there, I mean, we might be horrible people," Tori says, making Jade smirk just a little at that. "But right here in our dream, you and me, this is all okay. No defenses, no bad thoughts. Just being…"

"Just for today?"

"Just for right here and right now."

"You know, eventually we're gonna have to wake up from this 'dream'."

"Yeah… But not right now. Not for a little while, anyway."

The most amazing thing about Jade and Tori is the sheer trust they have in each other. Jade knows she can trust Tori completely. She knows she can lay things out on Tori because she knows she will carry her through it all, no matter what.

So, Jade looks at her for a long time, pretending to mull it over in her mind when she already knows the answer. "I like that… So, this is your thing, huh? With the marks on the other map, you drive alone and find places like this?"

Tori looks up from dusting the sand off of her skin as she nods softly, "Yeah. I mean, it's a bit strange to do this by myself, but I like being on my own sometimes."

"Well… Thanks for letting me in on your adventures… Or whatever…" Jade dismisses with a wave of her hand before she works her skirt and shirt off of her body.

"W…What are you doing?" Tori asks cautiously, looking away from her quickly.

"What? It's the beach and it's hot. I didn't know you'd kidnap me to the ocean, so I didn't bring a swimwear."

"I did not kidnap you!"

"Whatever. While I'm kept, I'd rather not have any awkward tan lines," Jade says, garbed in her laced undergarments as she quirks an eyebrow at Tori's jeans. "Like you."

She's egging her on, Tori knows this, but there's always something about Jade that riles her up; that makes her get up on her feet with a challenging look as she unhitches the button and slides down the zipper of her jeans, angrily tugging them off with a string of mumbles underneath her breath. "Happy?"

Jade leans back against her hands as she tilts her head, looking up to scrutinize Tori in front of her. When Tori told the gang about her little friend, she's been curious. She never thought it would look right with tits and a dick, but strangely, with Tori and her arms crossed, deepening the cleavage under her black bra and an obvious swell underneath her small black trunks, makes her decide it doesn't look too awful. "No. I'm hungry."

Tori huffs, adjusting her eye glasses before grabbing her bag to pull out a blanket as she climbs up one of the arches of a rock formation, laying it at the peak. She used to go backpacking with her grandfather when they lost her grandmother, but now he's gone, too, and she's all on her own. He didn't leave without teaching her a few things, though, like always keeping a couple of things you need in the trunk of your car.

Jade joins her, sitting beside her as they eat their lunch on a boulder. Sometimes they talk about nothing in particular or something worth remembering. Sometimes they don't talk at all, just vibing with the world, completely unplugged and in tune.

They open up, filling in the spaces of what happened in the time they weren't together. They open up. Jade tells her about a moment in her life. She makes it sound like it's nothing, but Tori knows she holds it fairly close to her heart. So, she listens intently when Jade tells her of the time her father signed her up for the Mother and Daughter fashion show. She hated it, but she thoroughly enjoyed the moment her parents paid attention to her; the way her dad attended and took photos and how her mom was having a blast filing through the store for matching outfits.

Then Tori told her a memory in which Jade listened. A time when she was squished in the middle of her grandparents with Trina in their pickup truck, just heading to the grocery store. Trina and she were always close to them. They practically raised the two since their parents were always out rekindling their relationship. It was a simple memory of singing with their Grams as their grandfather drove.

"You're a virgin," Jade says definitely as they're still perched on the rock, swinging her legs back in forth.

"Jade," Tori laughs lightly since they've been going at it back and forth for a while. "I promise you, I'm not a virgin."

"Fine! Then why won't you tell me who it was?"

"Because you won't like it!"

"What do you mean I wouldn't like it? It's not like I give a shit about who you lost it to. I just wanna know," Jade snaps, wondering why she feels like she swallowed a pile of stones.

"Why do you wanna know so badly?"

"Fine. Don't tell me. I'll just assume you're a virgin anyway."

Tori groans, running her fingers through her hair. "I'm not a virgin! I've had sex! Are you saying I'm not fuckable? Because I think I kind of am."

"It's not about whether or not you're fuckable. I just thought you were the type to wait until you were married, or whatever," Jade dismisses.

Tori shrugs a little. That's a bit true, but the one person she can see herself married to, is with someone else. She'd be a virgin for the rest of her life if she waited for marriage. "It was Cat, okay?"

She watches cautiously, seeing Jade's angry expression turn livid, "_Caterina_? Valentine?! You took her virginity?!"

"Why are you saying it like I forced her to do it?" Tori asks with a small note of hurt in her voice. "It was her idea. It was her who jumped on me and led me to my own bed."

"Were you two drunk?" Jade questions, trying to find reason as to why Cat and Tori would sleep together. It didn't make sense.

"No! Why is it so hard to believe?"

Jade only shrugs, "I mean, sure, you two are hot, but together? I don't see it working out."

"It worked perfectly fine. Besides, it was a one-time thing and I don't see it happening again," Tori placates, not knowing why Jade's so passionate about telling her how wrong it is.

"Are you upset about it? I mean, is that why you've been avoiding us? Because you like Cat? Or because Cat likes you?" Jade watches Tori smile to herself, shaking her head.

"Not at all, Jade," She says. "It was just a friend helping out a friend."

"Well… How was it?" Jade questions carefully, finding it a bit weird that she's a little upset at Cat and she can't seem to know why.

Tori looks down with a soft smile, remembering the night after the Full Moon Jam. She and Cat had a sleepover and the little redhead just kissed her out of nowhere. "It was really nice. It was silly, awkward and gentle, like how a first time should be, you know? There was a lot of laughing, a lot of apologies and awkward bumps, but I don't regret it in the slightest because I trust Cat and she trusted me with something so… Special. We were learning, finding out what we liked and didn't like."

Jade smiles despite herself, feeling just a little envious of the moment given the contrast of how she lost hers. In a fucking RV. It was rushed, painful and detached. "Aw, my girls. All deflowered and womanly," Jade mocks, pinching Tori's cheek.

The whole day is spent just like that. The two bickering and chasing one another across the beach and ignoring the real world. It was filled with giddy disbelief and giddy belief of being together because she was supposed to be in Bio and Tori should've been in English. They weren't meant to come anywhere near the ocean today. They've defied the day as it was set out for them.

Once the high tide starts swallowing the shore, they rush back up the cliff and into Tori's car, the breeze dropping a few degrees when night falls. They went to explore the coves and suddenly lost track of time. They're still shaken up with laughter and shock from nearly drowning when the waves moved in, but they ran out just in time.

"Jesus, you must be freezing," Tori shivers, reaching into her backseat to grab her sweater, helping Jade into it as she tugs on the hem of her hoodie, eyes lingering a little over her full, ample chest. It was such a huge struggle trying to keep her gaze somewhere appropriate when Jade was wearing a simple, lace underwear set, but she managed, she thinks. Jade didn't catch her… That often.

"I like the cold," Jade says in her monotone voice, slipping her hands through the sleeves, cuddling into the warmth as Tori wraps the blankets around her milky thighs, tucking her in.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think we'd be out that long," The brunette says through chattered teeth, looking at her door and roof-less Rubicon. "I'll drive slow, okay? Let me take you home."

Jade replies with a shake of her head, taking the ends of her sleeves in her fists as she wraps her arms around her quivering frame. "Already?"

"Already," Tori says with a soft chuckle. "Babe, it's nearly midnight and there's school tomorrow and possibly detention."

Jade reluctantly agrees, letting Tori drive off as they kill two hours easily, though the both of them wanted to draw it out as long as possible. She gets to Jade's house and gets invited in, just a little longer because the girl insisted she wanted it to end in a good note.

They sneak into Jade's house, trying to be quiet as they muffle their noises. "Tour? Okay!" Jade says as she drags a giggling Tori along the first floor, the girl enjoying the silliness of Jade when she tugs her from room to room. "Kitchen. Where we eat! Living room. Where we live. Stairs. Oh! My bedroom. How did we get here?" Jade asks as she kicks the door shut, pushing the Latina down on her bed before she climbs over her to straddle her hips.

Tori lets out a soft 'oomph' as Jade lands atop of her, putting her entire weight with her bum pressed against her crotch. She couldn't stop herself if she even tried, but after being with Jade all day and seeing nearly every dimension of her—the mean side, the soft side, the goofy side and the incredibly _sexy_ side—she hardens ever so slightly underneath her. Especially when the girl on top leans down, creating a divine friction against her length. "O-Oh! Um… Um, I'm sorry that…" She blushes deeply, extremely embarrassed. "You should, um, probably g-get off-f. I-I, Christ, I mean, not like th-that. I mean off of m…me."

Jade only shakes her head, the ends of her long, soft hair tickling against Tori's cheekbones. "Make me."

Their eyes lock as Tori's hands tentatively grip at Jade's waist, squeezing the alluring curves before circling her arms around her hips. There's a small noise at the back of Jade's throat as she quickly turns them over, topping the pale figure beneath her without breaking their gaze.

"You like me, Vega?" Jade asks quietly, looking up into brown orbs as the girl traps her hips against the bed with her own.

She should lie. She really should. So she does. "Ew. Y-You?" Then Jade gives her that look. That look where moms in wholesome TV shows turnaround from the sink and give their husbands when they're being silly about something and they need to be lectured, but they need to be kissed before, during and after the lecture, too. She nearly channels Walter, but knows it's not really a joking matter. "A baby bit. Like… This much," Tori says, showing Jade as she pinches her thumb and pointer finger together. "But smaller. Plus you annoy me a thousand times more so it doesn't really count for anything."

At that, Jade laughs, slapping at Tori's chest lightly. "Fuck off, Vega."

"But really, I think it's just a crush, you know? I'm just a bit lonely," Tori lies and only because she wants to put Jade at ease. She doesn't want her to feel weird just because Tori was dumb enough to develop feelings for her friend. And a little selfish side of her didn't want Jade to act differently towards her when they were having such a good time today. "It'll go away."

Maybe it's because it's late and they're getting a little drowsy; maybe it's because they've stayed in their bubble a little longer than they should have and have forgotten about reality altogether; or maybe they're feeling faint from just being together, but they both inch forward, the tips of their very nose grazing and brushing as their breath mingles.

It's a delicate moment and Tori's afraid to move, especially when Jade's locked her in with her legs around her hips. She knows she can feel her heart rate accelerating because their chests are pressed together and the pulsating throb of her hardening cock is flushed over Jade's skirt between her legs.

Their lips haven't met yet, but it's twitching with want ever since they locked eyes and they've yet to break contact as they move in to close the gap.

They're only a breath away, but Tori stops there. "I… We should probably wake up." She says softly before rolling off of the girl.

"Yeah… Definitely," Jade says distantly, no doubt processing what almost happened and what shouldn't ever happen.

"I'm gonna head home and get at least a couple hours of sleep in."

Jade doesn't answer right away as she watches Tori stand on her feet to grab her keys by the stand. "Hold on," She says, sitting up at the edge of the bed as she brings Tori down to place a soft kiss by her cheekbone. "Thank you, Vega. And I know you're lonely now, but I don't think it's permanent. You'll find someone."

It's bittersweet, but Tori takes it with grace and nods farewell to Jade before heading out to leave.

Without a doubt, it's love. It's all she feels.

* * *

_Present **(Following Chapter One)**  
_

Trina doesn't know what happened, but they've ended up by the floor, slouched as she cradles Tori in her lap. She presses the side of her head into her chest, rocking her baby sister back and forth as her tiny, shaking frame racks with sobs, her breath hitching and catching. She hardly had time to register anything when Tori showed up at their doorstep before collapsing in her arms.

"Tr-Treen, m-m-make it st-stop, pl…. Please," Tori begs, her voice raw and constricted as she holds onto her sister, wanting her to make it better.

Trina doesn't know what to say, but she has an idea of what happened. So, she cries with her little sister, strokes her hair and holds her tightly, hoping she can lessen the sting from her first horrible heartbreak.

"Make it stop," Tori weeps into her sister's chest, hands clawing at the fabric of her shirt to try to grab a hold of something because it truly feels like she'll diminish. "It hurts… It hurts so much…"

* * *

**A/N:**

**I seriously despise this chapter. It's boring and pointless, but I needed to stretch out the story. I'm embarrassed even posting it, but I didn't want to lose you folks!**

**Another thing, I'm thinking about posting my Elitoria stories on here and have you guys send in prompts, but after watching the Catfish episode with Liz in it, I didn't want to be (even more) weird. Thoughts?**

**Let me know!  
**

**xx**


	3. Stay With Me

**A/N:**

**Shorter chapter. Not sure how I feel about it, but if you guys could, freshen up on chapter one a bit to get a more feel on this one because I feel like it's been ages. **

**I hope I'm not creating any retcons with the flashbacks, but I'm struggling to make this fic angst when all I want is Jori fluff! So expect many sappy drabbles.**

Also: _italics_ will be flashbacks!

**Oh, and special thanks to these lovely gems:**

**I am so random18, readerluver128, Jawrulez &amp; MishGothika.**

**xx**

* * *

Chapter Three

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

_"I still can't believe you took that skank out on a date," Jade huffs, resting her head against Tori's chest as she runs her fingertip down the slope of her chiseled, sun-kissed abs and down to round the dip of her belly button. They're sprawled out in the backyard, the crisp, green grass underneath the pile of pillows and blankets spilled around the two. _

_ Cat and Trina—especially the redhead—dragged the two out in the Vegas' lawn and ordered them to make a blanket fort, telling her friends they shouldn't lose their 'beautiful, gypsy souls' once the three officially join college whilst the eldest returns back for her second year in university after this summer. _

_Obvious to Jade and Tori, Cat and Trina decided to pair up and share their own fortress like it was a sudden idea, but they're smart enough to know there's something between the open redhead and the peculiar brunette._

_ "Jade…" Tori chides lightly with her arm wrapped around Jade's middle securely, the figure nearly laying on top of her fully as she swings a leg between hers. "Don't call her that. She has a name, you know." She says, her free hand cupping the bend of her hip, slipping underneath her shirt before gracefully tumbling back down to the waistband of her bottoms. _

_ It's too natural for them—being together. They're so at ease with one another that they can find themselves in any situation or position without any bother. They know deep down they're crossing boundaries, but they're convincing themselves that they haven't done anything where it truly counts, like kissing and generally touching near their personal areas._

_For now, they relish in this comfort because the world is full of cruel people and all they really need is their best friend. _

_ "Yeah, Handjob Hannah." _

_ "Jade!" _

_ "What? Beb, half of the fucking school calls her that!" The onyx-haired wonder defends, sitting up lightly with the help of her hand on Tori's torso to prop her up. "Skank is practically a step up from that nickname. She actually takes pride in being called that."_

_ "She's a nice girl!"_

_ "Fine, then how did the date go? Will there be a second? Wedding bells, hm?"_

_ Tori grimaces lightly, "She _may_ have tried to give me a handy underneath the dinner table."_

_ Jade gasps lightly before she bursts into a fit of laughter, slapping at Tori's abdomen. "You dog! You totally let her, didn't you?"_

_ "What! Of course not! I was trying to eat and talk to her but she kept trying to get in my pants!"_

_ "Told you. I so, so told you, beb. All I'm saying is you didn't have to take her to a fancy restaurant and try on your corny-Vega charm to get her to put out." Jade chuckles as their toes brush and kick about, Tori's thigh between hers. "Look, you just deserve a lot better than Handjob Hannah. Someone you actually like."_

_ "Not everyone's as lucky as you finding the one already. So what's it like? Being in love?" Tori rolls her eyes at the notion of a such thing because it's just silly—it's ridiculously unattainable, especially for her._

_ "Overrated. You're not missing out on anything." Tori knows it isn't true because she would want nothing more than to give herself fully to someone who would do the same. All she wants is for someone to love her the way she wants to love Jade. _

_ It's silent between them, only the whistling of leaves and the whirr of their heartbeat pressed together coherent._

_ It always goes like this—when they finally recognize their tangled limbs and wandering hands moving at its own accord; when there's still heat and mostly breathing; when there's still touch and mostly thought—before they would glance at each other so tenderly, flickering back down to their companion's lips, both tilting forward. _

_It's as if the whole world could be reduced to the sound of a single string being played and the only thing this sound could make Tori think of was Jade. Sometimes desire is air; sometimes desire is liquid. And every now and then, when everything else is air and liquid, desire solidifies, and the body is the magnet that draws its weight._

_Jade leans in from the side and Tori knows she only has to turn a little to make it happen and they almost do. _

"_Treen," They hear in a high pitched moan from a voice all too familiar in the tent across the pool, breaking the spell between them. _

_Jade's eyes widen as they both pull back. "Don't laugh," Tori warns, knowing her best friend is close to cracking. She doesn't want them to know they're awake and stop, but she also doesn't want to hear her sister having sex with her friend, either. "Jade, I'll… I'll pinch you!" She whisper-yells, seeing Jade lose her resolve, both knowing it's an empty threat._

_Tori quickly moves in and cups Jade's mouth who erupts into uncontrollable laughter while she keeps her own lips closed from being heard by the oblivious two teens. They wrestle about, Tori trying to keep Jade quiet whilst the latter tries to break free, wanting to ruin the moment for both Trina and Cat. In that moment, they forget about almost kissing, like they always do, chalking it up to nothing. _

"Stay. Still!" Tori jumps at the voice, wincing when the sharp sting of alcohol seeps into the cuts on her back, the pain breaking her reverie.

"O-Ow! Gentle!"

"Tori, I swear to god, stay still!"

"Trina! Ouch!" The youngest shrieks, trying to squirm away from her sister, but the latter traps her with her legs locked around her middle, bending the figure over as they're sat on the floor, Tori's back to Trina's front.

"Let me clean it before it gets infected, doofus!" Trina huffs after wrestling with the girl, swiping the cotton ball over her sister's scratched back, cleaning off the dried blood as she sanitizes the broken skin Jade left on her last night.

From the looks of it, it must have been a good fucking night, too.

Tori only smiles sadly, cradling the pillow in her arms as she leans forward, letting Trina tend to her wounds and take care of her like she always did when they were younger since it was always just the two of them. "I hate her. I think I might really hate her," She murmurs. It's far from the truth and they both know it. "I think I might hate myself more, though. For being such an idiot. To even think she'd… And then there's Beck and I just…" Her voice cracks, raw and sore from the crying prior as she buries her face into the pillow to stop herself from weeping again.

Her face pales when she thinks of him, knowing just how badly she's fucked up. Not only has she compromised her own happiness, it was Jade and Becks'—which is far worse. She honestly believes she doesn't deserve any sort of happiness in her life after what she's done.

Why _does_ she even come back? There's no room for her. She's constantly trying to piece herself together in places she was never needed. Or wanted, for that matter.

Even when she bought a house with Trina. Her room's still there, but lately, there's always someone else crashing. That's her own fault, though, isn't it? All she does is leave and come back with the intentions of everything being the same since she's left.

Their—well, Trina's has been more of a safe haven for the gang. Throughout the years after high school, Trina's basically been the mother bear for everyone, letting them stay and crash for a few nights if they needed to get away or lending them a helping hand if they were ever in any trouble.

They love Trina to bits. They still pop around for a drink or movie night like they had done back in high school—well, without Trina now since she's made a home on the road.

She's happy for Trina. Truly. She deserves all the amazing things coming her way. She just only wishes she'd been around more to appreciate her.

It just gets to terribly lonesome on the road. All she wants is to come back and make herself a home here. But she's really fucked herself up this time, didn't she?

"Where'd you go, Tori?" Trina's soft voice dissolves her self-pity as she hands her a clean shirt after dressing the scrapes mapped down the length of her back. It looks kind of awful, but it'll heal. Like most things, it needs time.

After this morning, she can honestly say she's never seen her little sister in such a distraught state. She's been sad and down, sure, but completely hysterical? Bizarre. Heartbreaking, more like, and Trina would like nothing more than to carry some of that burden on her own shoulders and shelter her little sister in her arms, just to lessen the hurt for her sister.

"Hm?" Tori hums distantly, her voice cracking a bit as she pulls her shirt over her head, finally meeting Trina's soft, brown hues, a little similar to her own, but red and swollen from this morning. "Nowhere. I'm right here, Treen," She tries to give her sister a reassuring smile, but Trina calls her bluff and before she knows it, a pair of warm, strong arms wrap around her small frame, pulling her in close. She tries to keep from crying because she doesn't deserve this. She doesn't deserve soft or sympathy for what she's done.

"I love you, Peanut." It's all Trina has to say to make Tori let out a thick, watery chuckle into her chest, hugging her with all her might, even attempting to suffocate her little sister with love.

"I love _you_ to the moon and back," Tori says before she kisses Trina's cheek. "I'm going to lie down a bit. I feel a headache coming on." She bids her goodnight, walking over to the music room instead, not at all surprised when she sees Cat sat on the bench behind the grand piano.

She's used to seeing Cat lounging around the house and she's happy the redhead's here to keep her sister company. Trina is worthy of such love and she's glad it's Cat, even though they're _still_ hiding it from everyone, but Tori suspects they like keeping things between them.

She can't help but think of Jade and Beck. She only sees what they show in public; the fighting, the sneers and the cold shoulders. But of course, she doesn't see what they're like behind doors; laughter in the bedroom, cuddles in front of the TV and messes in the kitchen.

"Hi," Cat says softly over her shoulder, fingering the ivory keys beneath her nimble fingers. "Are you okay?" She asks cautiously, giving her a delicate smile as Tori makes her way over beside the redhead.

"Better, thank you," Tori smiles back. She's thankful Cat gave them room earlier. She knows she would never pry and Trina would never tell, but she knows it's about Jade. It always is. "What are you working on?"

"Not much. I'm just messing around. Do you need the studio?"

"I just thought I'd work on some songs, but please, don't leave on my account."

"I won't," Cat smiles sweetly. "Show me what you have so far and we'll work some magic."

"Yeah, sure," Tori says gratefully as she rummages in her bag, pulling out a clump of various sheets of papers with scribbled out notes, lyrics and doodles on napkins, menus and receipts. She pulls out a specific one, laying it out on the stand in front of them. "I've got a bit of the lyrics down and some melody, but you know, I was never as good on the piano like you and Andre. Do you—"

"Got it," Cat says simply as reads over the rushed scrawled out notes, pressing against the piano with ease whilst Tori hums a bit of what she has in her head. The two work for a little while, trying to fix the missing gaps and harmonies, Cat even showing Tori a few scales and runs to use.

Then they're playing and singing, vibing off of one another and it's just genius when it comes to Tori and Cat because while they aren't extremely close, they come perfectly together with music, their voices blending in richly.

_These nights never seem to go to plan_, Tori sings, playing the lower octaves as Cat takes the higher keys, harmonizing with Tori.

_But I still need love, can't you understand?_

_And deep down, I know this will never work. _

_But you can lay with me so it doesn't hurt._

For once, she's smiling and it's directed right at Cat because it truly is magic as she presses against the keys, the grand piano emitting the most powerful, harmonic tune.

_Oh, won't you stay with me_

_Cause you're all I need._

_This ain't love it's clear to see_

_But darling, stay with me._

Then they're laughing after they've wrapped it up, Cat's head nestling into the crook of Tori's neck, the latter resting against her. "I'm telling you, come on the road with me. We're like the unstoppable duo!"

Cat only giggles, "Well, if your sister wasn't so prone to being car sick, I'd be there with you." It's quiet, now, aside from the soft notes from the instrument. "You're leaving, aren't you?"

"What? No…"

"Tori Vega, don't lie to me. You always do this. Something stupid happens between you and Jade, you come here to work on more songs so you can leave again!"

She's taken aback by Cat's outburst, but she feels there's more to it. "Cat—"

"Why won't _you_ just stay? How do you expect things to get better if you keep leaving all the time? I know you want to be home and be with everyone else, but you can't get over Jade if you sing about her every night. Stay and get over her properly." Cat says.

"Cat, you don't understand…" She wants to stay. She planned to stay longer this time, but things aren't too ideal.

"No! It's stupid. You're just going to come back and it'll be the same cycle. You see Jade, you grab your shit and leave. Don't you know it's hard for Trina, too? You're all she has. You come and go as you please and if you plan to leave, at least have the decency to say goodbye!" She says, standing up and marching off, parting with a tongue-tied Tori.

She stays rooted to the bench for a while until she gets up, packing her car before she sits down the Trina, drinking and talking with her for the majority of the night. She loves her sister. She makes sure to tell her that repeatedly. Then it gets late and they're at the doorstep, sharing a long, bone-crushing hug. She doesn't know how long she'll be gone, but she reassures she'll be back, even if she may be lying.

Then Cat runs up to her and embraces her, apologizing, but Tori tells her she's the one to be sorry and thanks her before they send her off with enough food for the trip.

She meant to leave. She did. But somehow she ended up at Jade's childhood home.

* * *

"Oh_, I've got moves like you wouldn't _believe_, Vega," Jade replies to a giggling Tori with their hands entwined above their heads, making said girl twirl once—twice—then _thrice_—before pulling her in close. She's been upset lately, Vega—always spacing out between conversations with a solemn look, so when they ended up in the Latina's room near midnight, she dragged her out of bed to try and cheer her up._

_It worked. It didn't matter to Jade that she had to sacrifice a bit of her dignity to bust out a few embarrassing, silly dances, but it got Vega to smile. And it didn't matter how the rest of the Vegas' were asleep as they were shuffling about the carpet, bumping into lamps and having a laugh that could wake all of Southern California. _

_For Tori, it felt incredibly wonderful to be held for once, like a _girl_ should. It felt exceptionally amazing that it was by someone she's grown to love._

_Then they're stepping in just a little closer, no longer thrashing about with goof since they'll wake with enough bruises come tomorrow morning, but it doesn't matter because Jade's hands are curving at the small of her back, drawing her in just that much closer before their fronts are flushed. _

"_It's okay, you know?" Jade says softly, tightening her hold along the contours of Tori's waist as the girl locks her wrists around a pale, slender neck. "It's okay to let yourself be happy. Whatever's going on in that head of yours? Ignore it. You deserve happiness. You are capable. You are enough. More than."_

_Jade doesn't quite know how Tori's feeling—how she's tired of not feeling and tired of not connecting—but she does know she wants to be there for Tori and be someone who can live up to all her hopes. "Okay?" Jade speaks below a whisper by Tori's ear, feeling the Latina tremble lightly as tears come to her eyes. _

_Tori sniffles, quickly wiping at the corner of her eyes as she wills herself not to cry, but it's been so long since anyone has ever been so tender and caring towards her. It's overwhelming, but all she wants is to let Jade consume her. "I'm happy," She says. "Really. I am."_

_Jade smiles into caramel tresses, hugging her middle tightly as they dance cheek to cheek. They're hardly moving, but they're holding on—revolving slowly, eyes closed, heartbeat measure as they sway to nature's hum breezing out of her opened balcony._

_At first, they hold on to one another, but then it starts to feel like they're holding on to something even bigger than that. Greater. But they're far too terrified to question it._

_Just like that, Jade's heart stayed right there. In this moment. _

"Hey," A voice startles her as she turns around to face Tori out of her window, perched on a branch, swinging her lithe legs back and forth before she crawls through the threshold. "Been looking for you. Who knew you'd be at your parents'?" She tries to joke lightly and it completely terrifies her to see Tori.

For a moment, she lets the image of Tori sitting by the tree outside of her room take her back to high school. It was right after their spontaneous trip to the beach—_their _beach. Jade wanted more. She wanted more of Tori and more of their adventures, but soon after, Tori did that annoying thing where she completely ignored everyone again.

Then one night, she snuck in and kidnapped her again, but this time only to teach her how to drive her Jeep since she never learned manual and wanted to. It was a regular thing, sneaking in, sneaking out, driving about, doing absolutely nothing to everything. Tori would often hold herself back, but Jade was patient and let the little Latina come on her own terms. She suspected it had something to do with her, but Tori would only dismiss it if she ever asked.

"What are you doing here?" Jade replies coldly, taking a step back, like Tori would do something to her, but she wouldn't do such a thing. She knows this, but she's acting like a jerk because she's feeling guilty for what she's done. She's hurt Beck and most of all, she's hurting Tori. Her Tori.

"Just… Just let me say something, okay? And you can do whatever you want to me. Throw me out of the window or hit me, whatever. Just…" Tori takes a deep breath, stepping a little more into the room after hopping off of the window seat. She doesn't want to overwhelm Jade and not give her enough room. "I'm sorry, alright? I'm so fucking sorry for last night and everything that led up to it. I know I should've backed off a long time ago, you know? But you're just so… And then you just…"

Jade takes her in, really looks at her. There's a slight twinge deep in her chest at the sight of a slouched Vega, shaking and tattered. She did that. Things could have gone differently after they woke up, but no, she had to say those awful things she didn't mean.

"You just had to be _you_ and stupid me just had to be… Me!" Tori huffs, squeezing her eyes shut as she shields her tears because honestly, she's so fucking tired of crying. "And as long as you're Jade and I'm Tori, the odds will always be against us. We simply cannot coexist without being unhappy and I don't want to take that away from you." She lowers her voice, careful from waking the Wests' because she knows they aren't too keen of her since they've caught them in a position too close for comfort or sneaking out of the house on many occasions. "There may be a way out of this for you, Jade."

When she says that, Jade knows it doesn't just mean a way out of what they did last night because what's done is done. They had sex and of what she remembers, Jade enjoyed it, which is why she's behaving like an idiot.

But what Tori really means is that there's a way out of this moment and everything it means for the two of them. It means a way out of Tori and Jade and being so close.

Jade chooses Beck, over and over again. He's the person she wants to be with and there's no doubt about that by now. But the fact remains she and Tori are close—closer than Beck and Jade will ever be. Because when she's vulnerable, messy and gross, terrified and weak, lost and wishing herself dead, she trusts Tori with all of that. She lays it all on her because she knows she can take it and she knows she will carry her through it no matter what.

It's romantic. Tori's romantic without even trying to be that it could literally make Jade cry flowers and candy. Possibly even teddy bears.

But does anything on her face spell relief? Does anything say _Oh, thank god_? She truly hopes the glow of wonderment on her face doesn't have Tori believing it has anything to do with her leaving. It's all about how Tori's taking another annoying high road—for her and for Beck. She's not at all surprised because she knows her, but she's still a little bit floored. And she doesn't want it.

"No. _No_!" Jade shouts, startling Tori just a bit because she's been quiet for a little while. "Don't be stupid, Vega. Is this about what I said this morning? I'm_ sorry_. I didn't mean it, I swear. Just don't… Don't leave." She goes to angrily wipe at her tears, but Tori strides over, cupping her cheeks in her warm palms as the pads of her thumbs catch them. "Don't," She says with a broken voice, her throat closing up as she meets those brown, doe-y eyes brimming with tears. "Please."

No matter how many times Jade reassures Beck of her singular devotion to him, no matter how many times she rejects Tori and no matter how many times she lets her believe she doesn't feel a thing for her, Jade _is_ in love with Tori. At least a little bit.

For a while, it was quite easy for Jade to convince herself that since she's never really let herself have her, she can never really lose Tori either—and that since she's never truly given her love, she'll never feel the lack of it. It was easy, but she knew it wouldn't be forever.

But she does. She _loves_ Tori. And it's the first time she's ever let herself think and delve into it.

If the 'when' is unclear, the 'why' definitely isn't. Jade loves Tori because she makes her laugh. Because she makes her think. Because she is _so_ _fucking_ _brave_. Because she can live for so long on so little of her. Because she insists that she matters most even when she insists she doesn't matter much at all. Because she's seen her at her worst and absolutely adored her. Because she's seen her at her best and it's changed her life. Because they have emotional intimacy on overdrive. And let's be honest—because finally having sex was a long time coming.

But she can't be selfish. Not anymore. She can't have both Beck and Tori. She's made her choice and it's only fair to let Tori go and let her forget. Let her heal and move on. Like she told her to.

"Please don't cry," Tori says with a quivering lip as she wraps her arms around Jade tightly, hugging her with all she's worth. "It'll be okay. You'll be happy. You and Beck will grow old and wrinkly together." She says with a chuckle, Jade replying with a teary laugh into her collarbone. She knows it'll be the very last she'll see of Jade. The girl she loves. How is she supposed to forget? "You won't think of me and I won't think of you," She says, her eyes watering and cascading down her cheeks. "But you'll make it big in the films. I'll even be the first in line to see it premiere and tell everyone I know you were my best friend. We'll meet down the line. I promise. And it won't hurt anymore. Cat and Trina will finally get married and have little Vega-Valentine kiddies and we'll be the bestest Aunties ever."

Jade lets out another laugh, her tears staining and dampening Tori's shirt as her fingertips press against her back tightly, not wanting to let her go, but she has to. "And what about you?" She doesn't let herself think of what'll happen if they do see each other. To pretend they never had any history or feelings towards each other? To be reduced down to someone they known before but never thought about afterwards. She physically can't. Not Tori. It will never be that easy when it comes down to Tori.

Her heart squeezes that much tighter. Another millionth reason why she loves Jade: she makes sure she knows someone cares about her. And that's Jade. "You know me. I'll be fine. I'll move away from civilization and build my own farm." She giggles into her dark hair, breathing her in because it's the very last, but she'll survive. The memories they had and the relationship their losing is enough to last her a lifetime.

And of course, only Tori Vega can make a joke about fulfilling her hippie dreams when her own heart is tattered and ragged and broken apart because of her. "Tori—"

"I know. I forgive you and you'll always be my best friend, too."

It's not what she meant, but before she can say anything, Tori peels back and gently brushes her knuckles against Jade's flushed cheeks, making her eyes close briefly.

There's a soft, timid kiss between her brows before she feels Tori cramming a bit of paper in her palm. Then she's out the window and to her car before Jade even opens her eyes.

She hears the soft hum of Tori's engine before it sets off. She glances down at the object in her hand, unraveling the material when she realizes it's the map they made together. There's stupid doodles and side notes around the places they've visited; the ones they hated, the ones they loved and the ones that came with good memories. She takes a hold of the pendant inside, knowing exactly what it is.

During the beach trip, Tori found a sand dollar. She went home and carved it into the Hamsa symbol. Half of which was turned into a leather bracelet for Jade, the other half of the Hand of Fatima was a keychain for Tori.

Everything Tori ever needed was centered around the palm-shaped amulet that served to protect the two when they were ever away from each other: her house key, her car key and the key to Jade and Cat's apartment.

One key was left hanging by the sculpted shell, leaving Jade to palm it as she cried silently, knowing that if Tori would ever let this one go, she's never coming back. "Oh, Tori, you idiot."

* * *

Three months. It's been three, agonizing months since she's last seen Jade. She realizes it hasn't been that long, but it does make her wonder how she'll manage the next few years of her life, but she can happily say she's well out of the phase of lying on the floor and pathetically weeping over the jacket she found underneath her seat that was once Jade's, hoping the girl would magically show up.

Since then, she's made herself a life in the heart of New York City and she's slowly, but surely making her name out of the music industry. She's still performing at small venues, but her fan base is growing and circulating.

After finishing a late show and a meet and greet in mid-December, she steps out from the back of the venue, walking through the alley as she tugs on her beanie, slipping her gloved-hands into the cozy pockets of her grey, thick pea coat. Sometimes she wishes she didn't move to New York, but the snow is rather lovely.

She slows down when she sees a figure at the end of the alley, their back to her as they glance up at the night sky, the snow peppering all over their face and hair.

It's only then she realizes it's a girl who's keeping her eyes at the falling snowflakes, walking in a bit of a circle aimlessly, as if waiting.

She steps a little closer, seeing it's someone she knows all too well. For a moment, she thinks it's a dream or an awful trick played by her deluded mind because it wouldn't be the first, but when she hears a grumble of an insult about coming up in the winter, she knows she's real.

And just like her dream all too long ago, Jade's made her way to her. _She chooses her_. For once, she's the first choice.

She can't help but smile widely, looking up at the sky as she thanks whomever is up there for Jade. For bringing Jade in her life and generally having someone as amazing as her in this world. Her heart warms and hums and grows tenfold as she makes her way over.

* * *

**A/N:**

**How was it? I'm a little nervous about this, but I'm rather excited about the rest of this.**

**Why do you think Jade is in New York? Where do you guys want to see the story going? How about Catrina? And don't worry, our Tori will definitely grow a backbone later.**

* * *

**Guest - I'll update Beck Oliver Must Die soon I promise!**

**Guest - I'll definitely write Cori's first time as a bonus scene after the story is finished! :) and as the updates go, it's a bit random. Sorry!  
**


	4. Nirvana

**A/N: I don't know what this is becoming, but I hope you'll all still be with me. You're so lovely, thank you for the favorites/following/reviews. I hope this is enough for the long wait.**

* * *

Stay With Me

diddlybops

**Nirvana, Chapter Four**

_I love her and I can't tell anyone. I can't even say it out loud to myself. I will never, ever get to say it to her stupid, dorky face. But I can write it down just this once. Maybe twice. I love her. I love Victoria freaking Vega._

_Unbelievable._

Jade quickly crumbles the words scribbled onto the back of the map, stuffing it in her glove compartment before she slams it shut in frustration. She lets out a heavy sigh, resting back against the driver's side as she covers her face. She despises herself for writing it at a rest stop near Illinois, but she hates herself even more for feeling this way.

_Beck_ is the one for her. There's no doubt in that, but little fucking Vega just crept up on her.

Her hands shake as she reaches out for the door, but it snaps back onto her lap, trapped between her legs. It's been a repeating thing.

Unlock the door. Pull the handle. Retreat. Lock the door. Brood.

Her stomach has been threatening to twist and convulse from nerves, almost resulting her to turn her car around and fucking drive as far as possible, but she's gone all this way to New York. She can't leave now.

All she needs is one night. Then she'll be on her way.

Her eyes cast back down to the wrinkled piece of paper sticking out from the compartment, seeing her name and Tori's on the map they made together.

That's it. That's all it takes for her to get out of her car and walk over to the venue. She doubles up on layers because New York City is so fucking bitingly cold. Plus she's definitely misjudged the weather when we decided to just leave to see Tori two nights ago.

Her boots carefully crunch over the ice and snow. She doesn't want to slip on her ass. That can't happen. With the weather and the slippery roads, she takes three times as long to get to the building she needs to be.

It's full on snowing, obstructing her vision and prickling cold against her skin. Her lips are probably blue by now but she's there under the neon lights. It reads some unknown popstar to her and underneath, Tori freaking Vega.

Jade lets out a sigh, a huff of a cold cloud blowing out as she does so. There she is-at the point of no return. If this wasn't an impromptu trip, she would have gladly gone to see Tori perform, but it's sold out. And if she was honest with herself she doesn't think she would be able to listen to Tori sing about her.

She knows what she's done. She broke Tori's heart. Everyone back at home knows that. That's why she doesn't keep in contact with anyone. Not even her sister.

Trina resents her for that, but she knows it isn't something she can force. Tori has to move on the way she wants to. If it means dropping off the radar entirely, so be it.

Everyone knows Jade is the reason Tori left-_really left _with no intentions of coming back. But they don't know exactly _why_. Except for Trina and Beck.

She had to be honest with Beck. She owed him that. Technically they weren't together at that time, but before they could try again, she told him the truth about that night with her and Tori.

He didn't take it well. Actually, that would be an understatement. He was angry and hurt and betrayed. Especially because Jade assured him over and over again on how he didn't need to feel threatened towards Tori because she never returned those feelings.

It was hell for a long time mending their relationship, but they're on the right track. They still stumble back sometimes, but they're learning to forgive each other for all the mistakes they've both made.

She doesn't know how long she's been standing in the alley, but there's a faint, "_Jade_?" behind her making her freeze. "What in the world are you _doing _here?" She's surprised and a little bit happy.

Jade's chest concaves that much at the sound of her voice. She's so hopeful and amazed, but it'll be short lived. There's a reason why she's here. It takes her a beat, but then she's turning around, meeting Tori's eyes. There's this gleam she's missed. It's been gone for a while. Way before the whole affair happened. "Oh, you know, I was just in the neighborhood…"

There's a laugh. It's so genuine and full that Jade can't enjoy it like she usually could. "Just in the neighborhood," Tori chuckles, giving Jade a small nod, taking the girl in entirely. Has it really been three months? It felt like a lifetime. "Jesus, you must be freezing. How long have you been out here?" The brunette says as she shrugs off her peacoat, much to Jade's protest, but she's wrapping it around her.

"Not too long. I just wanted to see you, Vega," Jade says. It looks bulky with Tori's grey coat over her light hoodie and leather jacket, but it does keep her warm. Holy, shit, she's so damn warm. It smells nice, too. It takes her somewhere, but she pulls back. She can't get caught up.

"So you drove all this way to see me? Through a blizzard? I mean, unless you and Beck are here for a vacation or something?" It's subtle, what Tori's asking, and Jade knows. Because they get each other. They get each other without much talking. It's all body language. Like how Tori tugs on her beanie and rubs her hands all over her arms. She's trying to keep herself busy, but her eyes and warmth are giving her away. She's trying not to look at Jade, but she's stepping just a little bit closer to the thespian.

She can't do this. She _knows_ what this means for Tori. Hell, she's told her the dream so many damn times. She can't stomach this. She can't _do_ this. "N-No. _No_," She says a little stronger when her voice gives out. "He's at home. It's just me."

Tori gets it. They're still together. Sure, it's pretty damn devastating thinking Jade-the girl she's madly in love with-didn't come here to finally confess a burning, passionate love she's always had for her. She gets it. Nothing will ever, ever, ever, ever break Jade and Beck's relationship. But she's _here_. Isn't that something? She didn't have to come see her, but she did. That's something she'll hold on to. "Gotcha... How long are you here for?"

They're walking now. Well, trying. The wind picked up and the large chunks of snow falling are starting to feel like hail. It's hard to hear, but they've found shelter at a crowded coffee shop.

"Just tonight, actually."

"Tonight? Flights are canceled and it's two in the morning. You're not going anywhere," Tori says, shaking her head. No way is she letting Jade out when the weather is in this condition.

"I drove…" Jade says, watching Tori closely. Her stomach feels weird. Like she's about to vomit because she's so goddamn nervous. She can't tell Tori. She seems so happy.

"You _drove_?" Tori asks again in shock. "Then you're definitely not going anywhere. It's a two day drive. You're resting tonight."

"Yeah? I'm resting tonight?" Jade quips back with a quirk of her eyebrow. Tori doesn't know it, but hell, she's making her feel more at ease. "What are you gonna do? Make me?"

"No. I can't make you do anything," The Latina smiles. She sure as hell can't make Jade love her. "But I'll bribe you. With good food and great wine." Maybe the alcohol bit isn't the best idea. The last time they got drunk together, they had sex. She's still pretty guilty about that. She never forgot what Jade said to her the morning after their affair, but being away from her, she realized how much her life sucks without her. This very well may be the last time they could properly be together before they move on and do their own thing. "Just food, probably. I've gotten pretty good at cooking."

"You? Good at cooking? You couldn't salvage anything edible after you attempted to cook," Jade doesn't give an answer yet. It's not a good idea to stay, but the storm is raging on. If they can clean the streets of the piles of snow, then she'll leave.

"Yeah, babe, you just throw a bunch of things in."

"I'm not sure that's how it works."

"You're probably right, but there's only one way to find out," The singer raises an eyebrow at the girl before her. She can tell Jade's a little uncomfortable or nervous. "Look, you don't have to stay the night, okay? At least not at my place, but can I at least book you a room at a hotel? It's really not safe, Jade. And trust me, I'd find us a nice restaurant, but I highly doubt we can find a place this last minute. You came here all this way for some reason and you found me. Can I please make you dinner? My roommates will be home and everything. It won't be weird."

She should just say no. Why can't she? She should just say what she needs to say and be on her way. Simple, isn't it? "It won't be weird. It's fine. Let's go, okay?" Jade says as they grab their mugs. Cappuccino for Tori, green tea for Jade. Then they're on their way out. Luckily, Tori's loft isn't too far away.

"I wish you told me you were coming by. I would have made an itinerary full of fun things to do in New York!" Tori beams, looking at the bright city before her. It's so full of life. And busy. She needs busy or she'll be left alone with her thoughts way too often.

"I would have, but you don't seem to pick up the phone for anyone back at home."

"Fair enough."

Then they're shuffling into Tori's building, shrugging off the heavy snow built over their shoulders and boots. They get to the loft and Jade's handing the coat back to Tori, "Thank you for that."

Tori nods, putting it away before she calls out. "Ames! I want you to meet someone!" She says, knocking on her roommate's door before she peels back with a groan. "She's with her girlfriend. Sorry." She says, moving around. Without all the distractions, they can really feel the tension, especially because they're practically alone in her apartment, so she's moving over to turn on the record player in the living room.

Unbeknownst to Tori, Jade's shaking to the bone. _Just fucking say it, you coward_, Jade tells herself, willing to just say something, but she was never brave like Tori. She could never just bare her heart out and take risks. So what she does is sit by the island in the kitchen to wait for the perfect opportunity.

Tori offers her a drink and all that hospitality stuff, but all she wants is a water and that's what she gets. "So… How've you been?" The little Latina asks her, washing her hands by the sink before she's taking out the pasta and chicken, preparing everything.

"I've been okay. What about you?"

"Better..."

"Any girls up here?" Jade smiles a bit as Tori passes them both a bowl of salad. She eats it absently, looking at the woman before her.

"Some... But no one worth mentioning."

"Have you... Moved on?"

Tori's quiet for a while. There have been some girls, but they're not like Jade. They'll never be like Jade. Maybe that's what she should aim for. "Yeah... No..." She smiles to herself, playing with her food. "I mean, I've been doing okay. Hit some rough spots here and there. Out of sight, out of mind, right? But then you show up... And I'm not too sure anymore." She shrugs quite heavily before taking a sip of her beer and then she's making the Alfredo sauce. "You'd understand if you've loved someone like you. I'm sure Beck feels the same about it. Well... You _love_ Beck. And how I kind of love you, it's like that. You wouldn't be able to get over him if you two broke it off, right?"

"Right..." Jade chokes out a little. That's all she can say. She can't love Tori. It's not an option. So she pushes it down further. So much further. Tori makes her lose control. Jade doesn't like losing control. Being with Tori is too much for her to handle. It's too reckless. But with Beck, it's different. She feels safe. He can't hurt her like Tori can.

"Don't worry. I'm actually trying. I'm nearly there. I'll call you up when it happens and we'll go out and celebrate. Everyone's happy..." Tori smiles at Jade, finally looking at her. She never does anything with half of heart. So when Tori loves, it's full on. When she's hurt, oh, man, she's hurting.

In some ways, Jade doesn't want that to happen. To be loved by Tori is far more than anyone. Even Beck. To be loved by Tori, it's pure, exciting and out of control and something so childish. Special. But that's not what she wants for herself. She's too afraid for that. Besides, what good can come from a love like that? It's dangerous. She's always been the one to be sure of herself and to know where she's going. Being with Tori will destroy all that.

She won't lose who she is. Not for someone who'll just ruin her.

"I'm pregnant."

She didn't mean to blurt it out, but she figured it was the only way she could actually say it. It was quick and rushed and shaken, but Tori caught on. She always does.

Then it's still.

It's just the sound of the pasta boiling and Jade's fidgeting that is coherent.

Tori's rooted to the floor. What's she meant to say? Is that why Jade's here? Because she's scared? Every time something happens with Beck and Jade, she's running to her. What does she want? Another affair? To hurt her even more?

Her hands have gone numb and her knees… How are they still holding her up? She feels heavy, but completely hollow underneath.

Her eyes quickly switch over to Jade, but at her stomach. She's wearing a simple, nice blouse. It's hardly noticeable, but it's there.

She averts back to the pot.

It's a _baby_. It's a beautiful baby growing inside of Jade and then when it's here, it'll call Jade _mom_ and Beck _dad_. Like a family. Something she's always wished for with Jade.

It doesn't matter how often she's convinced herself of how pure and lasting Beck and Jade's love was. She knew they would never part. But like every stupid thing she's ever done in her life, she had this sliver of hope that one day, _one day_, it'll be her and Jade's time to fall in love.

Hell, it was the only thing she clung onto whenever she'd have the courage to leave her bed.

Where does she go from here?

"Congratulations, Jade. I'm so very happy for you," She forces a smile and busies herself with cooking. "Why aren't you excited? It's a lovely thing-"

"It's yours, Tori…" Jade says softly, trying to get Tori to just _look_ at her, but the latter doesn't quite know if she meant she wasn't excited _because it's hers _or if she's just letting her know.

It seeps in and then she meets Jade's eyes. She's confused and shocked. "N… How do you mean it's mine? We… We used… Didn't we?" How did she miss this?

Jade just shakes her head, looking down.

Tori's sat down now, head in her hands as she tries to process this. It's hers. That's… Exciting, isn't it? Scary, of course, but it's a _baby_. A baby that's half of her and half of Jade! But she doesn't look too happy, so why is she here? "Hold on… What did Beck say? Does he know?"

"Of course he knows!" Jade says defensively. "I wasn't going to go around and pretend it was his the whole time! I'm not that awful, Vega." She spits out. How dare she? "_I_ stuck around and dealt with the affair while you ran off like a coward." Coward. Ironic, isn't it?

Tori's baffled, "You _told_ me to leave! You didn't want me around! You don't love me, remember? And you never will! Why the hell should I have stayed, Jade?!" The brunette says, abandoning her cooking as she turns everything off once it's done. She recites Jade's words three months ago nearly precisely. It's the only thing she could remember besides the one night stand, although some bits were hazy. Like the condom thing. "I was doing the both of us a favor. You didn't want me around and I couldn't bare the thought of you and Beck after everything that happened."

Brown eyes start to well up with tears. As much as Jade has cried in front of Tori, she's never seen her do the same. It was always hidden. It's an awful thing to witness because she always thought the girl was so strong and brave, unlike her. No matter how awful Jade could be to Tori, she thought the Latina could bounce back. That's one thing she always loved about Tori. She could be herself around the singer, no matter how mean she could be. She would just push back. But this isn't the same. "Tori…"

"So what did Beck say?" She asks, interrupting whatever excuse Jade could come up with. Nothing could ease her. Probably never. Her heart is hammering against her chest. When will it stop? How's it keeping her alive all this time?

"He didn't want it…"

"And you're keeping the baby?" Tori asks. Please don't give it away, she begs.

"It's my baby, Tori. I couldn't... I couldn't abort it..."

"And Beck's okay with that?"

"No... But he will be. He just needs some time to get used to it."

Tori scoffs. It was either that or cry.

Here she is, with arms wide open, _begging_ the girl to just love her back, but that'll never happen. She's unzipped and raw for Jade. Her defenses are at her feet, but it only makes Jade hurt her more.

She'd rather love the guy who hurt her so many times. He doesn't even want their kid. If the roles were reversed and the baby was Beck's she wouldn't hesitate to take care of it as her own.

That's not the case, though.

She made a baby with Jade and she still isn't worth a chance.

Jade doesn't love Tori. When will it seep into her thick head?

"Why did you have sex with me that night, Jade?" It's small, but determined and Tori's pretty damn proud of herself for keeping the tremble in her voice at bay. "It wasn't because you gave a shit about me, so why did you?"

"Tori... You're my best friend-"

"Don't say that. We were never friends," The Latina shakes her head, gritting her teeth. They looked at each other way to long to be _just friends_. "What are you scared of?"

Jade's going to lie. Of course she will. She takes a different approach. Maybe if she says what needs to be said, Tori can move the hell on with her life. Without her. "I was drunk! You know that. I don't know _why_ I had sex with you, Tori. I shouldn't have. Especially if I _knew_ I'd fall pregnant with your kid!" The her voice resonates around them. It's still, aside from the record scratching and playing in the background as the wind from outside howls loudly, the building settling from the cold weather. Hell, she believed herself for a second. "I was... Angry at Beck. A-And you were there. I'm _sorry_."

Tori doesn't have it in her to keep it together. She's been pretending for so long and it's so agonizingly painful. She was always taught to just go through life terribly honest and to never be deterred from the awful world they live in or let them take away her soft, but what's the point?

She's been proven time and time again that people will just take advantage of that. How foolish of her to keep herself open and raw for everyone to see.

The girl she fell madly in love with doesn't feel the same. Not even a little. That little sliver of hope she kept at the back of her mind was gone. It was useless and pretty damn stupid of her to keep that. She fabricated this idiotic idea on her entire life.

Love doesn't exist, not for her, at least.

She tells herself not to cry. It's a mantra in her head, but her whole body fails her; the slump of her shoulders, the furrow of her eyebrows and the tremble of her lower lip. "You knew... Jade. Everyone _knew_ how I felt about you. And you just..." She breaks down, then, as she holds onto her chest, trying to get her breathing on track, but it's so hard. "I h-_hate_ you... I hate you s-so much." She says, though she chokes on the stuttered hitches in her breaths. She turns away from Jade, not wanting her to see as she bites back the whimpers and whines threatening its way out.

Jade couldn't watch after seeing the look of utter devastation and defeat on Tori's face. It's so foreign, but she caused it. So she grabs her jacket and bag and slips out. Her hands shake as she runs down the steps. She could've taken the elevator, but that means being still and forced to be with the guilt, so instead she's keeping herself busy as she reaches the lobby, out of breath. She runs to the door, but instead of it pushing through, she reverberates back. "No..." She says, shoving the door, but it doesn't budge.

She looks out the window, seeing a thick pile of snow against the door, everything's iced over. She uses her shoulder to try and get it to move, but it's futile. She slumps against the floor, covering her face. What did she just _do_?

It takes a while and a lot of convincing for Tori to finally calm. She's curled up against the kitchen island, rocking back and forth to soothe herself. It worked when she was a kid and a little now.

Then it dawns on her. She's having a baby. With Jade. A _baby_. That's who should be her main priority. Not Jade, not finding love, but the baby. Her baby.

Jade could be miles away from now. Or maybe she got hurt. She might have fallen and slipped on ice! Why did she let her go?

She should be able to catch her, so she quickly gets up and runs down the ten flights of stairs, but skids against the floors when she sees Jade hunched against the door, holding her stomach. "Jade..."

"The building's closed in," The girl says, not bothering to look up. Of course it's Tori. It's always Tori, isn't it? "I checked all the doors. No exit."

"That's fine. You can have my room, Jade," Tori says, walking towards her, but she gives her enough space. Their eyes are red and puffy. They're tired.

Jade gets up with the help of Tori. There's still a jolt of electricity when their palms connect, but what does it matter now? "I'm so sorry, Tori," Jade says, enveloping Tori in a hug, her hand cupped at the nape of her neck as the other wraps around and grips onto her shoulder.

Tori goes stiff, but after a while her arms circle around her waist. Her eyes start to water again, but they sting too badly to cry. "Hey, don't be sorry. _I'm_ sorry. I'm the one that got you pregnant. Okay?" Tori pulls back, gently holding Jade's chin to look at her. The love of her life. "I get it. You love Beck and it'll _always_ be Beck. But I love you. And whether you like it or not, we made this baby together. I'm moving back home and I'll help."

"Tori-"

"I want to. Please don't take our baby away from me," She's begging and Jade knows that. She'd never do that to Tori, so she shakes her head and nestles the Latina's chest and lets herself be held by the only person who's truly loved her.

They stay like that and so did Tori's heart. She remembered what Amy told her a while ago.

_Loving someone who cannot love you the same way in return is not weakness. It's one of the most courageous things you'll ever do. You are putting your armor at their feet and you are saying, "I will not fight you in this. I have loved you and that means that I have already won". _

She doesn't feel like she's winning at all.

* * *

**A/N: Do you guys ship this AU Jori? Sometimes I'll read a fanfic and think they don't really ship well. Let me know how to correct it. Also, what should happen during the snow storm? I haven't a clue, so give me ideas. **

**Review, please. Hopefully the next update won't be long again.  
**

**xxxx**


	5. Chapter 5

Hi, guys.

I've missed you so much. Just wanted to let you know (to those still in the Jori fandom) I have not abandoned this story. I was simply taking a mini break since I had writer's block. But a chapter is coming soon and I hope you guys will take the time to read it.

I miss Jori so much. Almost as much as I missed writing Jori.


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